‘Good God, I hope it is a phase, because right now I can’t even stand the smell of him. I had to sleep on the sofa last night because the scent of him was making me too nauseous to sleep.’

I can’t help but feel slightly sorry for Mark. He loves Mia so much but now, because of the shock and uncontrollable hormones, he’s public enemy number one.

‘Anyway, distract me. How are you?’

‘Which do you want first, the funny work updates or the life updates?’

‘Let’s go funny first and then life.’

As I had suspected, Mia was the perfect audience for the Joan mug story, laughing at all the right moments. She was also the perfect audience for the life updates. We’re well past the allotted hour for lunch, but she didn’t want me to stop.

‘I’m so proud of you.’

I’ve only just finished telling her about Colin’s growling. I haven’t even reached the card progress yet.

‘Proud? I slept with the emergency boiler man.’

She nods and makes a face that says, ‘Yeah you did. And it was good.’

This next thing I need to say is going to be tricky. I go slow so I don’t mess it up.

‘There is something that I think you will be genuinely proud of though. I’ve been putting more work into my cards.’ I avoid her gaze. ‘The argument we had, or whatever we want to call it, well … I didn’t like it, but you were right. I haven’t been fighting for anything, I haven’t been trying hard to succeed … I have been hiding a bit.’

‘Oh, Bea, I didn’t—’

Now I look at her. ‘No, you were right. I’m sorry that I put you into a position where you had to kick my arse. But you did, and my arse is now a little more in gear.’

‘It is?’

I smile. ‘Yes. It is. Peter’s actually been helping me. So I now have a plan, and things to concentrate on, and last weekend me and my cards actually went to a real-life fair.’

‘Bea! That’s great! Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come!’

‘Well, I didn’t know what to expect – it might have been a total flop.’

‘And was it?’

I think. ‘No, it wasn’t. I didn’t make much money, but I did learn some things. And actually, one thing I did learn was that my cards are pretty OK in comparison to the other cards out there.’

‘Eek! This is great! Can I come to the next one?’

‘Sure.’

I then go quiet. There’s one thing I still haven’t told her about.

‘You look shifty. There’s something else. Spill it.’

She knows me too well. I do want to talk to her about Dream Peter. I want her to comfort me and tell me it will pass. But part of me wants to ignore it. What if she thinks I like him like him? She’d never give it up.

But I can’t keep it from her. ‘IhadasexdreamaboutPeter.’