‘Well, thank you.’ I’m not too sure what to say. I definitely won’t say the right thing, and I haven’t had any chance to prepare something, so I go with my gut. ‘There were a couple of compliments in there somewhere. I really appreciate it. I’ll think about your offer and let you know by Thursday.’ I go to leave, but before I do I turn around. ‘Sorry I’m a terrible assistant.’

She looks at me above her glasses and I wonder whether this is a mannerism you automatically pick up as you gain power, or if there is some secret class you can take.

‘Don’t be. I was also a terrible assistant. Probably worse than you are. But then I found what it was I wanted to do, and you need to do the same. I’m trying to find a solution that works for both of us.’

‘I don’t know what to say.’

‘You could go get me a ridiculously sugary festive coffee. Unless that falls outside your job description.’

‘I’ll make an exception this time. Anything else?’

‘Yes. I haven’t bought a Secret Santa present yet, and the party is next week. Next Thursday in fact. A big day for you.’ She gets some money out from her purse. ‘When you’re out getting coffee, could you also pick up a suitable present?’

I shouldn’t have asked.

‘Who’s it for?’

‘Just get something you would like. I’m sure that would work fine.’

‘OK.’ I nod.

‘Good. Now go. Leave me in peace.’

She shoos me out and I narrowly miss the door frame on my way out.

I grab my coat and bag, and, like a bee to honey, or a bored office worker to any potential gossip, Penny appears.

‘You heading out?’

‘Yeah, I’m doing a coffee run. And buying a secret Santa gift.’ I roll my eyes at this.

‘Great! Can I come with you? I need fresh air otherwise I might fall asleep.’

Having bought a pine-tree-scented candle and novelty Christmas mug, Penny and I head down the road to the cafe with all the food samples.

‘So what did the boss have to say?’

I don’t think I should tell Penny anything until I know what I’m going to do myself.

‘Could we talk about something else?’ I feel bad; it goes against the work wife code.

‘No worries.’ I can tell from her tone that she is, in fact, a little worried. ‘What else is going on with you? You’ve been quiet today.’

I can’t roadblock her out of two conversations, and besides, it might be good to talk about it. I hid in shame all of Sunday and I haven’t yet found a way to confess to Mia, so I fill her in on all the details. Or at least the ones I can remember.

Having just reached the cafe, we stand in the middle of the floor blocking the natural path of customers, and only move when the update is over.

‘I think it’s a good thing you told him how you feel.’ Penny tells everyone how she feels all the time.