‘And so we find ourselves here.’ She makes a gesture with her hands that prompts me to look around her office, wondering precisely how literal she is being.

‘Now, I’ve also been keeping track of your card business –’ business is still a stretch at this point but I’ll take it – ‘ever since that unfortunate headline mix-up. I saw your business plan on your desk last week. I shouldn’t have snooped, but I did and it made for interesting reading. It’s ambitious.’

She looks at me pointedly and I think I’m meant to say something.

‘Yes, it is.’

‘It will take time.’

‘Yes, it will.’

‘The cards are funny.’

‘Thanks.’ This comes out more like a question and I frown a little. ‘How do you …’

‘I looked them up online.’ She says it as if that was the dumbest question I could have asked.

‘I do not need or want you as an assistant, but what this company does need is something that I think you could be quite good at.

‘I’ve been watching you with the assistants ever since I stumbled across your mentoring session in the cafe. I’m impressed, as are they, I believe. And I’m of the opinion that the sessions have made a difference in the workplace. For the better. I also noticed how you handled Joan.’ She uncrosses and re-crosses her legs, and makes a face that looks like she smelt cabbage soup being reheated in the communal kitchen. Interesting. ‘Our attrition rate is shocking, and it costs us a lot of money and time to hire in and train up new people. Too much money and far too much time. I want to try and stop this. And to stop it, I think what we need is someone to help on board our rotating door of assistants so they feel more confident from the start, and someone to look out for the development opportunities we offer. I hope that with time and more support, the door will rotate a little more slowly, and we will have fewer skills gaps. I want to see if you can be this person. Indeed, I believe you already are.’

‘OK.’ Again, it comes out more like a question.

‘But, and there is a but, this is a role we cannot currently offer full-time. So your salary will be pro-rated for three days a week, with a review after six months to see how things are going, both from your perspective and mine.’

Huh. Interesting.

‘Think about it.’ She adjusts her power blazer. ‘This could work out quite well for you. And me. It will give you more time to dedicate to your … puns.’

She stops talking and looks at me.

‘Can I take some time to think about it?’

She nods, once.

‘When do you need me to decide by?’

‘I would like to start looking for an assistant right after Christmas. So if you could tell me by next Thursday that would be appreciated.’