Damn. I think I need to see the movie, now I know that Freddie is the star. I don’t know much about Edge of Eden, only that it’s an erotic tale about an S&M-loving lawyer who has an affair with a woman he’s defending. I think she’s on a murder charge or something – it’s a tale as old as time.

I cannot believe I’ve been hanging out with a movie star all this time – I can’t believe he’s seen me naked! Oh, my God, I can’t believe I ordered a drink from him. He’s probably one of the most famous men on the planet right now, and I ordered a bloody drink from him. I mean, he did make me one, but even so…

‘Eva, Dan, are you stopping for lunch?’ Freddie asks them, dancing with me playfully. ‘We usually go back to bed right about now but…’

We’re interrupted by a hotel employee, bursting through the door with Savino close behind him.

‘Please, allow me to apologise,’ the man says. ‘A terrible mix-up. We have never had anything like this happen before, where guests have been shown into a room where other guests are already staying. Mr Tyler called to advise that he would be arriving a couple of days late, and Mrs Tyler did say Mr Tyler would be joining later…’

Crap, I did say that, didn’t I? I had no idea it would occur to him to actually turn up though, and to phone ahead and tell them to expect him.

I watch as his attention switches from the group to the sex toy on the coffee table. I need to throw that thing in the sea. He just sort of shrugs it off, as though he’s seen some things before. He isn’t about to be fazed by your run-of-the-mill dildo.

‘As a goodwill gesture, we would like to show our new guests into a new room. We only want love, here at San Valentino.’

‘Oh, super,’ Eva says.

‘I booked a suite,’ Daniel insists, redirecting his anger to the hotel employee. ‘I booked a suite, so I want a suite.’

‘I booked a suite,’ I point out.

‘We do have one more next door,’ the man replies. ‘But it would need to be paid for…’

‘Money is no object,’ Daniel replies.

Eva beams. I’ll bet she thinks she’s landed on her feet.

‘Don’t you dare touch our joint bank account,’ I warn him. ‘Not so you can have a holiday with your mistress.’

The poor hotel employee looks as if he wishes he could be anywhere else.

‘Actually my parents gave us money as a wedding gift,’ Daniel replies. ‘I’ll use that.’

I seethe. What an unbelievable bastard. I don’t know if this is the real him or just a knee-jerk reaction to the Freddie situation, which he seems to be taking surprisingly badly.

‘Please, come this way,’ he tells them. ‘And you are all invited to dine in Ristorante Sabatini. Perhaps tomorrow evening.’