Before I began counseling with submissive men and before I embraced the female domination lifestyle, I was of the opinion that only a man with a low self-image or a man that was sexually dysfunctional would desire to be dominated in such extreme ways by a woman. However, after over twenty years of studying and practicing this lifestyle, I have discovered that these desires are very common within men. I have concluded that the number one sexual fantasy and desire among men is to be dominated by a woman. Furthermore, I now understand the dynamics about why men desire these things, where these desires originate from, and how they can fit within one's sexuality and personal relationships in a healthy way.

There is a natural born desire within men that causes them to desire to be dominated by a woman. I believe that males are born with this desire and I also believe that this desire is enhanced through a man's childhood experiences with his female authority figures. A male is carried in the womb of a woman, he is birthed into this world by a woman, he is nurtured at the breasts of a woman, he is disciplined by the loving hands of a woman, and he is loved and comforted by a woman. There is a special bond between a young boy and his mother or female guardian.

Part of this is sexual. Most of the time, a young boy is bathed, caressed, nurtured and spanked by adult female authority figures and this stirs submissive desires within young boys. When they reach adolescence, a lot of boys begin to experiment with their sexuality, as they are curious and drawn to the female, her beauty and her mysterious ways.

There is usually a form of the desire to submit mixed in with the sexuality. A young boy grows accustomed to being bossed around and dominated by the adult female authority figures in his life. Then when he begins to enter puberty, his sexual fantasies often involve being the helpless sexual victim to one of his adult female authority figures like a teacher or a babysitter. I believe that is when B&D (Bondage and Domination) desires are birthed within men. Not all boys start out their sexual exploration with these types of fantasies but many boys do.

When these boys grow up to be men with submissive desires, they often still maintain the fantasy of being an innocent and helpless boy that is being dominated or sexually used by an adult female authority figure.

They recall that their first submissive desires were toward their teacher, babysitter or even their mother and they remember how pleasurable and exciting it was to have these desires. Usually as they happen upon Adult magazines or videos, the stories and scenes where an older woman dominates a young male is what causes them the most intense sexual arousal.