Chapters (57)
- Cover
- Doctor Aphra
- DRAMATIS PERSONAE
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- SCENE 49
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- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
First rule of protocol droids: protocol. We have a priority order from our other master. We must deal with our priority order before progressing to anything else.
BEETEE:
BLEEP!
TRIPLE-ZERO:
I’m afraid we’re going to have to hunt you down like the human meatbag you are, Mistress Aphra. I’m sorry, but I am such a terrible stickler.
APHRA:
Okay!
[sotto]
Think, Aphra, think…
[normal voice]
What was the specific order?
TRIPLE-ZERO:
Why, to bring you to the Executor to await Master Vader, and failing that, to silence you.
APHRA:
Hmm. Okay. So…I surrender.
TRIPLE-ZERO:
Hmmph. Stand down, everyone.
Mistress Aphra, I have to say, you do take the fun out of everything.
BEETEE:
BLEEP!
TRIPLE-ZERO:
Beetee is very upset.
APHRA:
[sotto]
Time to find another door.
SCENE 49
INT. THE EXECUTOR. LATER.
APHRA (narration):
They took me to Vader’s new ship: the Executor. A Super Star Destroyer. Oh, and did I mention that my old pal Black Krrsantan was part of this whole “let’s bring Aphra in so Vader can murder her”
expedition? The nerve. I thought we’d bonded.
It was, in fact, his ship that transported me to my doom. I saw all those ingots from the Son-tuul Pride robbery—the ingots I’d so nicely given him—scattered everywhere, their beautiful prism glow mocking me.
BLACK KRRSANTAN:
HHHHHRRHHHHH!
APHRA:
Yeah, great to see you, too, Santy. Any chance I can bribe you into helping me?
BLACK KRRSANTAN:
HRRRNNFF!
APHRA:
Yeah, I didn’t think so.
TRIPLE-ZERO:
If I can be so bold, Mistress Aphra, I suspect you’ll soon regret your decision to surrender. There are far worse fates than death by blaster, and I’m sure that Master Vader has one in mind.
BEETEE:
BLEEP!
TRIPLE-ZERO:
Yes, Beetee, and if he hasn’t, we certainly have suggestions.
Notice I didn’t say you’d live to regret this?
APHRA:
I did.
TRIPLE-ZERO:
Just making sure. I do tend to overuse subtext. It’s terrible to miss the subtext.
BLACK KRRSANTAN:
GRRRRWWWWWWW!
APHRA (narration):
My traitorous former colleagues marched me over to some stormtroopers.
TRIPLE-ZERO:
This is Doctor Aphra. Lord Vader ordered us to bring her here. Keep her safely locked away for him, hmm?
Goodness, Mistress Aphra. It’s been a pleasure.
APHRA:
Triple-Zero! I’m to be safely delivered to the Executor, right? That was the priority order?
TRIPLE-ZERO:
That you are, Mistress Aphra! Nice and safely doomed!
APHRA:
Then your priority order to Vader is complete! New priority order…
Get me out of here!
BEETEE:
BLEEP!
TRIPLE-ZERO:
Quite. How annoying.
Very well, Mistress Aphra, Beetee and I are now here to save you! The cavalry has arrived!
APHRA:
After…delivering me to my death.
TRIPLE-ZERO:
One cannot be too choosy about which cavalry arrives when you’re in this position, Mistress Aphra! I suggest you take it.
And…may I just say, for an organic…your plan with the priority order was rather clever.
APHRA: