You’ve got one hell of a tab to settle…

APHRA (narration):

Yeah, so. I found the most abandoned, hole-in-the-galaxy bar I could out in the Cosmatanic Steppes. I knew Vader would be looking for me.

And this time, I had nothing to bring him, no triumphs, nothing to show for my efforts.

And I certainly knew at this point that he didn’t harbor any special, fuzzy feelings for me or my talents.

I…had to admit to myself, during one of my drunken binges, that I don’t think he ever actually saw me. I, like so many others, was a mere pawn in his game, a speck of dust to be brushed aside once she’d outlived her usefulness.

And at this point? I’d definitely outlived…many things.

“More lives than a tooka-cat,” eh? But even tooka-cats die eventually.

I couldn’t think of anything to do but run.

Yeah, your old pal Aphra was feeling pretty down when she got to the Cosmatanic Steppes. There wasn’t really anything to do except drown my sorrows in booze.

The bartender was a kind sort—in other words, he had no business being a bartender. But he let me drink till the wee hours, and he accepted the droids I scavenged as credit.

APHRA:

Found this little fella in the remains outside. Got him back on his feet.

Droid for a few drinks sounds like a good deal to me…

BARTENDER:

Sure, miss, sure…But you know…when someone drinks like you have, I can tell they’re hiding. Especially when you won’t even give me your name.

What are you running from? It can’t be that bad.

APHRA (narration):

Sure, barkeep, not that bad. Not that bad at all. I’m only wanted by the Dark Lord of the Sith, pursued across the galaxy by all the bounty hunters he’s probably hired, and currently caught in the unending spiral of an existential crisis after seeing my ex…

Shooting outside interrupts the peacefulness of the bar.

APHRA:

Oh, what now? That can’t be about me, right?

APHRA (narration):

I peeked out the window…and saw my old friends, Triple-Zero and Beetee, flanked by a whole battalion of commando droids.

So it was about me.

APHRA:

Oh no. Triple-Zero, what are you doing?

TRIPLE-ZERO:

Eliminating witnesses. Master Vader was very specific about making sure you hadn’t spread word to anyone else. Who knows what you could have said in one of your drunken binges, Mistress Aphra?

APHRA:

The rebels captured me. I escaped. I didn’t tell anyone anything!

TRIPLE-ZERO:

Well done! I’m sure you’ll find not telling anyone anything a far less demanding task when you’re safely disposed of, mistress.

APHRA:

Wait! I’m your master! You take my orders. Stand down! Now!

TRIPLE-ZERO: