Chapters (57)
- Cover
- Doctor Aphra
- DRAMATIS PERSONAE
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- ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Using my very special extra intel—that I definitely did not obtain from a certain Dark Lord—we tracked the Imperial cruiser carrying the Son-tuul Pride’s fortune to Anthan Prime, located on the very edge of the Outer Rim.
IG-90, Beebox, Bossk, Triple-Zero, and I watched the cruiser navigate around the planet’s gaseous atmosphere from the Ark Angel.
As for Santy and Beetee…they were otherwise engaged. But be patient, I’ll get to that in just a bit…that’s not even the most secret part of this plan.
Ugh, I’ve said too much already!
Back to the Imperial cruiser toting around all that cash…
APHRA:
Right. Here they come. I swear, I can see all those credits from here.
IG-90:
Query: Given that it is impossible to “see” the interior of the Imperial cruiser—
APHRA:
Relax, IG-90—it was a joke. An exaggeration. A—
IG-90:
Query—
BOSSK:
No more queriessss. What happens next, Aphra?
APHRA:
When they enter the asteroid belt, we move.
C’mon, someone say it!
TRIPLE-ZERO:
Very well, Mistress Aphra. “What asteroid belt?”
BOSSK:
There issss only one asssteroid, asss far asss I can sssee…
BEEBOX:
Yes, Aphra, you promised us an actual asteroid belt—
IG-90:
Query: The Imperial cruiser is headed for this single asteroid, but that doesn’t seem like much of a deterrent—
APHRA:
All right, all right—everyone be quiet now. I really only needed one of you to set that up, now I need just a teeny-weeny beat of anticipatory silence as I hit this big shiny button…
Aphra hits a switch on the Ark Angel, and the single, merry asteroid blows up—creating an asteroid belt.
TRIPLE-ZERO:
Mistress! Did you just…detonate the single asteroid, thereby creating an asteroid belt?
APHRA:
Indeed I did, my murderous robot friend! I may or may not have also already fitted said single asteroid with some super-neato explosives.
Genius, no?
IG-90:
Statement: It is unclear whether or not this simple action is worthy of the “genius” designation—
BEEBOX:
Yeah, I think that’s Aphra’s own designation, wherein “genius” simply encompasses whatever she’s doing at the time.
APHRA:
Wow, really? I start our amazing mission off on a truly explosive note and all the rest of you can do is criticize.
All right, on to step two!
Ion torpedo away!
The ion torpedo hits the Imperial cruiser.
APHRA:
For the next five minutes, the Imperials will think their systems being down is a side effect of the collision. Let’s go to work.
SCENE 19
INT. IMPERIAL CRUISER. LATER.
APHRA (narration):
While the Imps were occupied with all those thoroughly distracting explosions I sent their way, my crew did a little space walk on the underside of their cruiser and boarded through an unguarded hatch.
Everything was going exactly to plan. And I was already so impressed with myself! That was some incredible, initiative-taking work!
I mean. Who else would’ve thought to create a whole asteroid belt?