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Chapters (67)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. The Staring at the Wall Club
  4. The Pink Car
  5. Teatime in Germany
  6. Writing for Dummies
  7. I’ve Got Problems
  8. Up Our Tree
  9. No Way!
  10. I Hear Voices
  11. Ten Things
  12. Early Alarm
  13. The Grass Cutters
  14. Rebecca’s a Genius ☺
  15. Guilty ☹
  16. Jake’s a Genius
  17. SCUBAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
  18. The Army in the Box
  19. Dad, Help!
  20. Our Square Is a Battlefield
  21. Weakness
  22. Me, the Knight and the Wardrobe
  23. X + Y = Spy!
  24. Pass the Sauce
  25. Astroboy2008
  26. We Spy
  27. What Have I Done?
  28. Tipping Point
  29. That Kid
  30. Loser!
  31. Desperation
  32. Gunfight
  33. No Chance
  34. Postmortem
  35. I Can Keep a Secret . . .
  36. The Mechanical Turk
  37. Beginner’s Luck?
  38. Panic!
  39. Revenge?
  40. Champion!
  41. Tug of War
  42. The City and the Wall
  43. I’m Sorry, Jake
  44. Why Did Dad Do That?
  45. Surprise!
  46. First Round
  47. Tick, Tick, Tick
  48. Blue Lights and Disinfectant
  49. Is It Okay to Pray Only When You Want Something?
  50. Stage Fright
  51. Hugs and Soppy Films
  52. Plan B
  53. Uh Oh!
  54. What Mr Keytes Said
  55. Teatime in Germany, Again . . .
  56. Worms in My Belly
  57. Final
  58. Down, But Not Out
  59. Knockout
  60. When We Are Famous
  61. Can’t Wait Till Morning
  62. Alerts!
  63. What Do I Do?
  64. Confrontation
  65. Final Curtain
  66. Zip Wire
  67. Acknowledgements

‘Ah, god!’ I put my hands on my head. This is getting worse. I got beaten by an eight-year-old!

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Gunfight

‘Felix, are you going to stay in bed all weekend?’

‘What? No. Go away!’ I shout from under my pillow.

‘Don’t be so rude,’ says Mum. ‘I’m just saying it’s a nice day.’ I hear the swishing sound of her pulling back my curtains. ‘Look. There’s not a cloud in the sky.’

I peer out from under my pillow. Sunlight flashes across my room. I bury my head again. It might be sunny outside, but it feels like it’s raining in my bedroom. It’s Saturday morning and I’ve got nothing to do and even if I did I’ve got no one to do it with. Granddad still isn’t talking or eating, because I heard Mum and Dad discussing it last night. Mum was worried; she’d made a roast especially for him, but he didn’t even let her in the house. I’m still not talking to Jake, even though he has sent me four texts this morning and my phone just buzzed again. I reach over to my table.

Felix, come on. It’s going to be a boring weekend.

I scroll back through the rest of the messages.

Mr Keytes said not to talk but that was days ago.

Felix?

?

Are you awake? ☺

I sigh and push my phone away.

I do miss him and it’s a brilliant day to go in our tree because we’d see the enemy coming for miles. But even if I could forgive him, we couldn’t go in the tree, because Granddad will see us and he’ll think I’ve sided with Jake.

My phone buzzes again.

Jake’s not giving up. I reach out and read the message.

Hey, Felix, come on. Meet me at our tree at 2.

Just send a ☹ so I know you got this message.

I press the off button and lie back on my bed. My granddad won’t talk to me and my best friend – my ex-best friend – won’t leave me alone. I roll over on my side and stare at the wall.

4 × 7 = 28

5 × 7 = 35

6 × 7 = 42

I look at Granddad’s chess rules on my door:

2.   Never take the easiest path. If you don’t play you don’t lose and that’s wrong. You lose to get better.

3.   Do not trust the clocks. There may be a power cut and they stop, or they will be slow because of flat batteries, or your opponent may be a cheat. The best clock is the one in your head.

No path is easy and I’ve got too much in my head to worry about clocks.

I bury my head in the pillow again.

*

The house is empty when I eventually go downstairs. Mum has left a note for me on the table.