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Chapters (67)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. The Staring at the Wall Club
  4. The Pink Car
  5. Teatime in Germany
  6. Writing for Dummies
  7. I’ve Got Problems
  8. Up Our Tree
  9. No Way!
  10. I Hear Voices
  11. Ten Things
  12. Early Alarm
  13. The Grass Cutters
  14. Rebecca’s a Genius ☺
  15. Guilty ☹
  16. Jake’s a Genius
  17. SCUBAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
  18. The Army in the Box
  19. Dad, Help!
  20. Our Square Is a Battlefield
  21. Weakness
  22. Me, the Knight and the Wardrobe
  23. X + Y = Spy!
  24. Pass the Sauce
  25. Astroboy2008
  26. We Spy
  27. What Have I Done?
  28. Tipping Point
  29. That Kid
  30. Loser!
  31. Desperation
  32. Gunfight
  33. No Chance
  34. Postmortem
  35. I Can Keep a Secret . . .
  36. The Mechanical Turk
  37. Beginner’s Luck?
  38. Panic!
  39. Revenge?
  40. Champion!
  41. Tug of War
  42. The City and the Wall
  43. I’m Sorry, Jake
  44. Why Did Dad Do That?
  45. Surprise!
  46. First Round
  47. Tick, Tick, Tick
  48. Blue Lights and Disinfectant
  49. Is It Okay to Pray Only When You Want Something?
  50. Stage Fright
  51. Hugs and Soppy Films
  52. Plan B
  53. Uh Oh!
  54. What Mr Keytes Said
  55. Teatime in Germany, Again . . .
  56. Worms in My Belly
  57. Final
  58. Down, But Not Out
  59. Knockout
  60. When We Are Famous
  61. Can’t Wait Till Morning
  62. Alerts!
  63. What Do I Do?
  64. Confrontation
  65. Final Curtain
  66. Zip Wire
  67. Acknowledgements

‘No! I don’t think they’ll work. Not against this army!’ I point ahead as the army marches on – a row of eight black pawns with two rooks, two knights and two bishops behind them. In the middle, riding on horseback, are a queen and a king.

‘Run, Jake,’ I shout. ‘Run!’

Me and Jake pick up our rifles and run into the dark.

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Weakness

‘So how come you’re in here again, Felix?’

I stare at the wall.

‘Well, you must have done something?’

‘Mr Groves said I hadn’t done any of the science work.’

Mrs Ewens leans forward.

‘And is Mr Groves wrong?’

‘No, but he is an idiot.’

‘James, did anyone ask for your opinion?’

‘No, but you got it anyway.’ James King rocks back on his chair.

‘I think maybe you should move,’ says Mrs Ewens. ‘Over here.’ She stands up and walks over to the corner of the room near the door. James King gets up. His bag bumps my shoulder accidentally as he passes me. ‘Sorry ’bout that,’ he smirks.

I stare at the wall. I’ve been trying to do better in class, but improving my marks and playing chess at the same time is making me tired, especially when I’m having weird dreams about chess like I did last night. I hardly did any work in science and I was even worse when I was in the reading group with Mrs Hudson. Michael was reading and she got annoyed with me when I lost the place on the page. I told her about my dream, but she thought I was trying to get out of reading. I wasn’t. I just wanted to get the dream out of my head. It feels like I’ve been studying chess non-stop for three days, but me and Granddad still haven’t played a game. He just gets me to repeat chess information over and over again while he sits in a chair tearing letters and bills into tiny pieces. I love my granddad, but the more time I spend with him the weirder he seems to get – not answering the phone, only watching German TV, even ripping up the wrappers from Samson’s cat food.

‘So,’ says Mrs Ewens, as she sits beside me. ‘Tell me what’s going on?’

‘Nothing,’ I say. ‘I don’t mean to get into trouble. I just do.’

‘I know,’ she says, leaning closer. ‘I know you’re not a real troublemaker, but you have to keep trying – you can’t keep disrupting lessons by talking about cannons and Lamborghinis.’

I smile.

‘Yes,’ Mrs Ewens says, smiling back. ‘We teachers do talk to each other, you know . . . So, is there anything you want to tell me?’

‘Not really.’

‘Would you like me to chat to your mum and dad?’