‘Good for me? How? What good will it do me to know it’s raining in Germany?’ I get up off my bed. ‘And two days, Mum?’ I plead. ‘Do I have to? Can’t I have a sleepover at Jake’s?’

‘No. Just think how your granddad would feel – him all on his own and you over at Jake’s or up your tree.’

‘But—’

‘No, Felix!’ Mum holds up her hand, like a stop sign. ‘That’s enough. You need to stop being so selfish. Me and Dad have been working so much that we need a break.’

‘What about me? We haven’t been away together in ages.’

‘I know, but another time. Dad and I need some time on our own. Besides, it’s only Cornwall – it’s not like we’ll be on the other side of the world.’ Mum looks at me like I should know why they need to go away. And I do – it’s because they argue loads, sometimes about me and my behaviour, but mostly about money. And it’s got worse since Dad’s business went bust.

‘When are you going?’ I say eventually.

‘Tomorrow afternoon. Dad’s finishing work early, so we’ll be gone by the time you get back from school.’

‘So it’s actually three days!’ I huff. ‘My head will be aching where he raps his knuckles all the time.’

‘Just tell him it hurts,’ says Mum. ‘Anyway, it’s only two and a bit . . . And your granddad can’t pick you up tomorrow – he’s got an appointment at the clinic.’

Mum closes my door. The poster of Astro Boy stares back at me. It’s an old black and white one that Dad gave me. I wish I was Astro Boy, because then I could fight crime and get out of this mess. When Mum said she and Dad were going away, I thought I was going too. For a second I dreamed we were going to Center Parcs or even Disneyland Paris. I’ve never been to either, but last year Freya in my class went to both. But no, they’re going without me and leaving me with Granddad.

I put my head in my hands.

It’s going to be terrible. I can’t stay with him. Not all weekend. I’ll die of boredom, counting every second on his clocks. I’ve got to do something to get out of it or make it more bearable. I’ve got to—

I’ve got it. I’ve got it!

‘Mum!’ I stand up and shout.

‘What?’

‘Can I take my PS4?’

‘No!’

I Hear Voices

‘Maybe it won’t be as bad as you think,’ says Jake as we walk into our square.

‘It will be,’ I say. ‘He’ll be watching Ein Platz in der Sonne, now.’

‘What’s Ein Platz . . . whatever you said?’