Chapters (67)
- Cover
- Dedication
- The Staring at the Wall Club
- The Pink Car
- Teatime in Germany
- Writing for Dummies
- I’ve Got Problems
- Up Our Tree
- No Way!
- I Hear Voices
- Ten Things
- Early Alarm
- The Grass Cutters
- Rebecca’s a Genius ☺
- Guilty ☹
- Jake’s a Genius
- SCUBAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
- The Army in the Box
- Dad, Help!
- Our Square Is a Battlefield
- Weakness
- Me, the Knight and the Wardrobe
- X + Y = Spy!
- Pass the Sauce
- Astroboy2008
- We Spy
- What Have I Done?
- Tipping Point
- That Kid
- Loser!
- Desperation
- Gunfight
- No Chance
- Postmortem
- I Can Keep a Secret . . .
- The Mechanical Turk
- Beginner’s Luck?
- Panic!
- Revenge?
- Champion!
- Tug of War
- The City and the Wall
- I’m Sorry, Jake
- Why Did Dad Do That?
- Surprise!
- First Round
- Tick, Tick, Tick
- Blue Lights and Disinfectant
- Is It Okay to Pray Only When You Want Something?
- Stage Fright
- Hugs and Soppy Films
- Plan B
- Uh Oh!
- What Mr Keytes Said
- Teatime in Germany, Again . . .
- Worms in My Belly
- Final
- Down, But Not Out
- Knockout
- When We Are Famous
- Can’t Wait Till Morning
- Alerts!
- What Do I Do?
- Confrontation
- Final Curtain
- Zip Wire
- Acknowledgements
‘Well, I’ve got a bottle of Coke too . . . I would have bought snacks, but they give us lunch!’
‘Ha!’ Rebecca turns around. ‘So that’s why you came!’
‘Yes! And to support Felix, of course.’
‘I think it’s only the players and the teachers,’ says Rebecca.
‘That’s okay,’ says Jake. ‘I’ll just get crisps and chocolate from the machines. My dad knows how to rock them so you don’t have to—’
‘Jake,’ I snap. ‘Stop talking. I’m supposed to be concentrating.’
‘We all are!’ Rich glowers.
‘Okay, okay!’ Jake sits back. ‘Keep your hair on.’
I lean back, bump my head against the seat rest. Dad told me it would take an hour to get to Cheltenham. That’s how long I have to calm down. One hour to get ready for the most important event in my life. I wish Granddad was here to help. I close my eyes and think about what he would say to me if he was but all I can think about is what he told me when I left his house last night.
‘Let your mind be as clear as the sky and your heart as calm as the ocean.’
Okay, clear mind, calm heart . . . Nope, it’s no good. My heart’s still racing and I need to pee!
‘Take deep breaths. Nice deep breaths. Breathe out two seconds longer than you breathe in. I am thinking this will increase the air in your lungs, the oxygen in your blood, up into your brain. I am thinking this will help you stay calm. I am thinking this is best for you to concentrate.’
I take a deep breath, count to six. Let it out. Count to eight.
I take another.
‘Oh my god! No way!’
‘Not now, Jake.’ I gulp.
‘But, Felix—’
‘No!’
‘Argh! I can’t look. This is the worst thing. Worse than dreaming of going to school with no clothes on.’
I sigh. He’s not going to shut up until I look.
I open my eyes and turn around.
‘What is it?’
Jake’s slid down so far he’s nearly on the floor.
‘There,’ he says, pointing over the back of his seat. ‘He’s there.’
‘Who is?’
‘Your granddad! He’s following us in his pink car!’
First Round
‘Granddad, what are you doing here?’
‘I thought I would surprise you. I was at home watching TV, then I am thinking to myself, Felix must be getting nervous.’
‘I am, Granddad, but you didn’t have to follow us.’
‘How am I supposed to know where you are going? I do not have this GPF.’
‘It’s GPS, Granddad.’