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Chapters (67)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. The Staring at the Wall Club
  4. The Pink Car
  5. Teatime in Germany
  6. Writing for Dummies
  7. I’ve Got Problems
  8. Up Our Tree
  9. No Way!
  10. I Hear Voices
  11. Ten Things
  12. Early Alarm
  13. The Grass Cutters
  14. Rebecca’s a Genius ☺
  15. Guilty ☹
  16. Jake’s a Genius
  17. SCUBAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
  18. The Army in the Box
  19. Dad, Help!
  20. Our Square Is a Battlefield
  21. Weakness
  22. Me, the Knight and the Wardrobe
  23. X + Y = Spy!
  24. Pass the Sauce
  25. Astroboy2008
  26. We Spy
  27. What Have I Done?
  28. Tipping Point
  29. That Kid
  30. Loser!
  31. Desperation
  32. Gunfight
  33. No Chance
  34. Postmortem
  35. I Can Keep a Secret . . .
  36. The Mechanical Turk
  37. Beginner’s Luck?
  38. Panic!
  39. Revenge?
  40. Champion!
  41. Tug of War
  42. The City and the Wall
  43. I’m Sorry, Jake
  44. Why Did Dad Do That?
  45. Surprise!
  46. First Round
  47. Tick, Tick, Tick
  48. Blue Lights and Disinfectant
  49. Is It Okay to Pray Only When You Want Something?
  50. Stage Fright
  51. Hugs and Soppy Films
  52. Plan B
  53. Uh Oh!
  54. What Mr Keytes Said
  55. Teatime in Germany, Again . . .
  56. Worms in My Belly
  57. Final
  58. Down, But Not Out
  59. Knockout
  60. When We Are Famous
  61. Can’t Wait Till Morning
  62. Alerts!
  63. What Do I Do?
  64. Confrontation
  65. Final Curtain
  66. Zip Wire
  67. Acknowledgements

‘What?’ Jake holds out his arms. ‘Felix, I told you, the spy thing with your granddad was a joke.’

‘A joke!’ My anger snaps inside me. I push Jake up against the wall.

‘Wow, Felix!’ He laughs like he thinks I’m messing around. ‘I surrender. I surrender.’ He holds his hands up in the air.

‘Fight.’

‘Fight.’

‘Fight.’

A group of Year Eight boys have suddenly surrounded us.

‘Ha!’ says Jake. ‘We’re not going to fight. We’re best—’

‘Punch him.’

‘Knee him.’

‘Fight.’

‘Fight.’

‘Fight.’

‘Ha!’ Jake laughs. ‘Tell them, Felix, we’re best friends.’

‘Were!’ I say.

‘Fight!’

‘Fight.’

Jake stops laughing. My head is so close to his, our noses are nearly touching. Someone pushes me in the back. I fall forward. My head bashes into Jake’s face.

‘Fight.’

‘Fight.’

‘Fight.’

Jake puts his hand up to his nose. For a moment I think he’s going to punch me. I wrap my arm around his neck and we fall to the ground.

‘Fight. Fight!’ We’re scrapping on the floor. My heart thuds as blurred faces look down on me.

‘Fight. Fight!’ Jake’s by my side. I kick my legs, flail my arms . . .

‘Get off. Get off me!’ I roll over. Everything is blurry and I’m moving in slow motion. ‘Get off me!’

‘Fight. Fight!’

I can’t breathe. I can’t breathe.

‘Okay, that’s enough. That’s enough!’

A pair of brown shoes. Mr Keytes’s voice. He grabs me by the arm and pulls me up.

‘It was . . .’

‘It was . . .’

Me and Jake stare at each other, trying to catch our breaths.

‘Okay, Year Eights, get on your way, there’s nothing to see here.’

Jake’s nose is bleeding and his eyes are watering.

I gulp for air.

Mr Keytes puts his hand on my shoulder, the other hand on Jake.

He looks at me.

Then looks at Jake.

‘You two! What on earth’s going on? You’re friends!’

‘I know.’

‘I know. I . . . I . . .’ That’s me starting to cry.

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That Kid

The cars and buses are hissing by me as I walk home from school in the rain. Out of the corner of my eye I can see boys and girls glancing at me, talking about me, snatches of conversation about me . . .

‘Is that the kid who had the fight at lunchtime?’

‘Is that the kid who ran out of school crying?’

‘Is that the kid whose Granddad picks him up in a pink car?’

Yes, I’m that kid. I’m that kid who had a fight with his best friend and is now walking home on his own.