I stare at the board. Everything is getting jumbled up in my mind. Last week all I was thinking about was chess and the whiteboard was full of black and white squares, and now it’s just blank. Last week I could hear Granddad’s voice in my head, and now all I hear is fuzz.

I close my eyes and wish they would come back. I wish I was sitting at the table playing chess with the bread again. I never thought I’d wish that. It was sneaky that Mum and Dad planned for me to spend more time with Granddad, but I have to admit I was enjoying it and I think he was too. He’d actually started to smile, and he went to town for the first time since Grandma died. I might be missing seeing the black and white squares, but I think I’m missing Granddad way more.

I stare at the whiteboard until it goes blurry at the edges. I can’t cry in school. I can’t.

‘Felix!’

I jump.

‘I asked if you are listening?’ Mr Fields is standing right in front of me.

‘Yes,’ I say, trying to scramble back to the room.

‘So what’s the process called when the rocks are moved along the coastline?’

I shrug.

‘Come on, Felix. No?’

I shake my head.

‘Anyone else?’

‘Transportation, sir.’

‘Yes, Liam. Transportation.’ Mr Fields glances at me. ‘Got that, Felix?’

I nod and look at my desk. I wish I could get transported out of here.

*

My body is moving but I don’t know who’s moving it as I walk down the corridor. My head is full of noise as the boys’ and girls’ shouts echo off the walls, but above them I hear someone yelling my name.

‘Felix! Felix!’ Rebecca taps me on my shoulder. ‘Felix, what’s wrong?’

I open my mouth, but all that comes out is air. I look up and down the corridor, anywhere but at Rebecca. I swallow hard.

‘Felix.’ Rebecca rubs my arm. ‘Tell me what’s wrong. You were so quiet in class.’

I shake my head. I feel bad not answering her, but I’ve got a lump in my throat. I’ve already lost Grandma. I don’t want to lose Granddad too.

I turn and walk away.

‘Felix, just tell me what it is.’ Rebecca walks alongside me. ‘You’ve been acting weird all morning and Jake says you didn’t wait for him to walk to school. Felix!’

‘I’m sorry,’ I say. ‘I don’t want to talk about it . . . It’s just my granddad . . .’

‘Oh, god.’ Rebecca puts her hand up to her mouth. ‘Is he dead?’

‘No, but he might as well be. He doesn’t want to see me again.’

‘Why?’