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Chapters (67)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. The Staring at the Wall Club
  4. The Pink Car
  5. Teatime in Germany
  6. Writing for Dummies
  7. I’ve Got Problems
  8. Up Our Tree
  9. No Way!
  10. I Hear Voices
  11. Ten Things
  12. Early Alarm
  13. The Grass Cutters
  14. Rebecca’s a Genius ☺
  15. Guilty ☹
  16. Jake’s a Genius
  17. SCUBAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
  18. The Army in the Box
  19. Dad, Help!
  20. Our Square Is a Battlefield
  21. Weakness
  22. Me, the Knight and the Wardrobe
  23. X + Y = Spy!
  24. Pass the Sauce
  25. Astroboy2008
  26. We Spy
  27. What Have I Done?
  28. Tipping Point
  29. That Kid
  30. Loser!
  31. Desperation
  32. Gunfight
  33. No Chance
  34. Postmortem
  35. I Can Keep a Secret . . .
  36. The Mechanical Turk
  37. Beginner’s Luck?
  38. Panic!
  39. Revenge?
  40. Champion!
  41. Tug of War
  42. The City and the Wall
  43. I’m Sorry, Jake
  44. Why Did Dad Do That?
  45. Surprise!
  46. First Round
  47. Tick, Tick, Tick
  48. Blue Lights and Disinfectant
  49. Is It Okay to Pray Only When You Want Something?
  50. Stage Fright
  51. Hugs and Soppy Films
  52. Plan B
  53. Uh Oh!
  54. What Mr Keytes Said
  55. Teatime in Germany, Again . . .
  56. Worms in My Belly
  57. Final
  58. Down, But Not Out
  59. Knockout
  60. When We Are Famous
  61. Can’t Wait Till Morning
  62. Alerts!
  63. What Do I Do?
  64. Confrontation
  65. Final Curtain
  66. Zip Wire
  67. Acknowledgements

Then he picks up a horse and tells me it is actually called a knight because it represents the knights that rode into battle in the cavalry. It can move forward and sideways but only three squares at a time. He tells me there are supposed to be two on each side, but one of them is missing so we will use an old plastic one for a while. I look at the horse. I thought chess was just a boring game where people sat quietly and moved counters, not a game of war with real castles and knights, parts of a medieval army. I think of telling Granddad this, but he’s already picked up another piece that looks like BB-8 from Star Wars. He tells me it’s the bishop. It used to be called the runner and can only move in diagonal lines. Granddad places the white knights on b1 and g1, the bishops on c1 and f1.

‘And this is the king,’ he says, putting the king on e1. ‘And this . . . this is his queen, the most powerful piece on the board. She can move everywhere. Here, hold her too.’

I hold the queen in my palm. She’s got a staff in her hand and a crown on her head. And she has green velvet on the bottom like all the others, which must be to stop them scratching the board.

‘Look after her,’ says Granddad. ‘And she’ll look after you.’ He takes her from me and places her on d1.

I look at the board. All the pieces actually look like what they are: a real army that I can hold in my hand.

‘See,’ says Granddad. ‘Chess is not so boring. Isn’t that better than firing guns on your computer games?’

‘But at least I know how to play my games. I’ll never be able to play something as complicated as chess.’

‘Of course you can.’ Granddad nudges a pawn onto the middle of its square.

‘No, Granddad,’ I say. ‘You don’t understand. I can’t do it even if I wanted to. I can’t remember the dates of battles or the names of kings and queens in history, so there’s no chance I’ll remember the moves that they make on a chessboard.’

‘But that is the point,’ says Granddad. ‘I will teach you.’

‘How?’

‘Ah.’ Granddad’s face lights up. ‘It’s up to me to work out the how. Besides, you already know more about chess than you think.’

‘Do I?’