Chapters (67)
- Cover
- Dedication
- The Staring at the Wall Club
- The Pink Car
- Teatime in Germany
- Writing for Dummies
- I’ve Got Problems
- Up Our Tree
- No Way!
- I Hear Voices
- Ten Things
- Early Alarm
- The Grass Cutters
- Rebecca’s a Genius ☺
- Guilty ☹
- Jake’s a Genius
- SCUBAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
- The Army in the Box
- Dad, Help!
- Our Square Is a Battlefield
- Weakness
- Me, the Knight and the Wardrobe
- X + Y = Spy!
- Pass the Sauce
- Astroboy2008
- We Spy
- What Have I Done?
- Tipping Point
- That Kid
- Loser!
- Desperation
- Gunfight
- No Chance
- Postmortem
- I Can Keep a Secret . . .
- The Mechanical Turk
- Beginner’s Luck?
- Panic!
- Revenge?
- Champion!
- Tug of War
- The City and the Wall
- I’m Sorry, Jake
- Why Did Dad Do That?
- Surprise!
- First Round
- Tick, Tick, Tick
- Blue Lights and Disinfectant
- Is It Okay to Pray Only When You Want Something?
- Stage Fright
- Hugs and Soppy Films
- Plan B
- Uh Oh!
- What Mr Keytes Said
- Teatime in Germany, Again . . .
- Worms in My Belly
- Final
- Down, But Not Out
- Knockout
- When We Are Famous
- Can’t Wait Till Morning
- Alerts!
- What Do I Do?
- Confrontation
- Final Curtain
- Zip Wire
- Acknowledgements
I try to smile, but I’ve been concentrating for so long that my face feels like a cracked eggshell when I do.
‘Cool, isn’t it, Felix!’ Jake’s grinning at me, leaning in so his face is in all the pictures. It is cool, it’s more than cool, but it’s happening so fast that I can’t take it in.
A man wearing glasses and a suit walks over to me and shakes my hand.
‘Congratulations,’ he says, stepping in between me and Jake. ‘I’m Hugh Harris, from Chess Monthly. Can we get a picture with just you and the trophy?’ He guides us towards a banner that reads.
NATIONAL SCHOOLS CHESS CHAMPION
SPONSORED BY WEETOS
I stand in front of it and smile, but I’ve been smiling so much my face is beginning to ache.
‘That’s great,’ says Hugh, snapping away behind his camera. ‘Can you just tell me what it feels like to be the National Schools Chess Champion?’
‘Umm, I haven’t really thought about it,’ I say. ‘I didn’t think I’d win, but I’m really pleased.’
‘Pleased?’ he says.
‘Ecstatic!’ shouts Jake.
‘Yes.’ I nod. ‘Ecstatic.’
‘That’s wonderful.’ Hugh lifts his hand and motions for me to move a little to my left. ‘Brilliant,’ he says. ‘Now could you say something about how eating Weetos helped you?’
‘Sorry?’
‘Weetos.’ He points at the banner. ‘Perhaps something like, you eat them at home every morning before you go to school.’
‘But I don’t,’ I say.
‘But he eats a lot of German sausages,’ Jake jumps in.
‘That’s fine,’ says Hugh. ‘I’ll just put that you eat German sausages with Weetos . . . Now, how about one with your teacher. Mr . . . ?’
‘Keytes,’ says Mr Keytes.
Hugh drops his camera to his chest and takes out a notebook.
‘How am I spelling that?’
‘Keytes. Sounds like the poet, except it’s spelt K E Y T E S.’
‘And I’m his coach!’ Jake jumps to my side. ‘Jake Simms, that’s J A K E, S I M M S,’ he says, grinning as he puts his arm around my shoulder.
‘Great,’ says Hugh. ‘Was it you who taught him castle queenside?’
‘To do what?’ asks Jake.
Hugh shakes his head like he’s figured Jake has no idea what he’s talking about. ‘Felix.’ He turns back to me. ‘If you could just hold the trophy up . . . That’s it.’ Hugh snaps one more picture. I put the trophy down on the table, then Hugh asks if he can ask me a few more questions.
I sit down and feel myself breathe for the first time since I won.
‘So,’ says Hugh, smiling, ‘your teacher tells me you’ve only been playing a few weeks. How did you start playing?’
I tell him how Granddad made a list of all the things he wanted to teach me and that one of those things was chess.