Shanti looked at me and sighed. “That went well, don’t you think?”

“Give her time,” I said. “Cement walls don’t fall so easily.”

Her eyebrows rose.

“What?”

She shrugged and laced her fingers through mine. “I’m just impressed by you, is all.”

Not used to compliments, I felt my cheeks get hot.

Lena pushed herself up from her chair. “Well, chili cheese fries, this has been an enlightening exchange, but all the sharing has tired me out. I’mma hobble upstairs and overload on shit TV until I pass out.” She grabbed her crutches and stood. Facing me, she said, “Listen, chica. You think you can get yer head on straight before the next bout?”

Did I? “I’m trying.” Shanti squeezed my hand.

“Good. ’Cause you know what you’re doing out there, and if you can just tune out all the trash talk—both your own and the other team’s—you’re gonna blow up the track.” She punched me in the arm and swung her way out of the kitchen.

At practice on Tuesday, I apologized to the whole team. To my relief, most of the Honeys just took a few good-natured digs at me and then Lena told me to “Shaddup already so we can practice.” I could tell that Dom and a couple of other Honeys weren’t going to let me off so easy, which I understood. I wouldn’t have let me off easy either.

Kat stood in the back, arms crossed, but I just tried to remind myself how long it had taken me to pull down the hard shell I’d put up. I’d just need to be patient, like others had been with me. Maybe she’d come around, maybe not. But I hoped she would. I had a feeling our mutual struggles might be a bond if we could manage to avoid letting them get in the way.

I tried to wipe my head clean of our last bout and focus on the basics that Alma and Joe had taught me. I dug in and readied myself for whatever Kat was going to throw at me. To my surprise, though, she treated me like any other player and even threw me a “Nice work” at one point. The change might be glacial, but maybe she’d come around after all.

Every single bruise I ended up with from our practice came from hard work. I won’t lie—I still got some satisfaction from a hard hit. But I wasn’t seeking them out anymore. I was too busy trying to show the others—and myself—that I could be trusted to put the team first.

Chapter Forty