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Chapters (49)
  1. Cover
  2. Dedication
  3. AUTHOR’S NOTE
  4. Prologue
  5. Chapter One
  6. Chapter Two
  7. Chapter Three
  8. Chapter Four
  9. Chapter Five
  10. Chapter Six
  11. Chapter Seven
  12. Chapter Eight
  13. Chapter Nine
  14. Chapter Ten
  15. Chapter Eleven
  16. Chapter Twelve
  17. Chapter Thirteen
  18. Chapter Fourteen
  19. Chapter Fifteen
  20. Chapter Sixteen
  21. Chapter Seventeen
  22. Chapter Eighteen
  23. Chapter Nineteen
  24. Chapter Twenty
  25. Chapter Twenty-One
  26. Chapter Twenty-Two
  27. Chapter Twenty-Three
  28. Chapter Twenty-Four
  29. Chapter Twenty-Five
  30. Chapter Twenty-Six
  31. Chapter Twenty-Seven
  32. Chapter Twenty-Eight
  33. Chapter Twenty-Nine
  34. Chapter Thirty
  35. Chapter Thirty-One
  36. Chapter Thirty-Two
  37. Chapter Thirty-Three
  38. Chapter Thirty-Four
  39. Chapter Thirty-Five
  40. Chapter Thirty-Six
  41. Chapter Thirty-Seven
  42. Chapter Thirty-Eight
  43. Chapter Thirty-Nine
  44. Chapter Forty
  45. Chapter Forty-One
  46. Chapter Forty-Two
  47. ROLLER DERBY: A VERY BRIEF OVERVIEW
  48. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
  49. ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Her words sliced the air between us, the truth of what she’d said cutting deep. But I was also pissed that she was trying to tell me what to do. And that she thought she could control whatever was happening with me and Shanti. Never great with words and knowing my fists would get me nowhere here, I just tried to hold Kat’s eyes with mine. It wasn’t easy—it was almost like she was looking through me now, like she didn’t really see me, which just infuriated me more. Before I did something I might regret, I grabbed my gear and brushed by her.

Chapter Twenty-Four

The bus let me off about six blocks from the address on the flyer Shanti’d given me. Feeling hesitant about the fundraiser in general, I hadn’t done a very good job of sharing the info with anyone. In fact, I’d had to actively hide the event the night after our last practice. I’d accidentally left the flyer out in the laundry room after cleaning my gear, and Vicki had asked about it. I just said someone at school was handing them out, and then threw it in the recycling bin. I’d had to fish it out later that night. I still wasn’t sure what their response would be, and I didn’t need any more complications or overly emotive expressions of worry or delight or disdain. I ended up telling them I was hanging out with Anna, my go-to excuse.

I’d thought about asking Fee and Caihong to come, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to overlap worlds yet. I was still stoked about roller derby but was also feeling a little off-balance around the stuff with Kat and Shanti. After that messed-up interaction at the end of our first practice, Kat had continued to be super hard on me during our second practice. Shanti hadn’t even been at the second practice. I’d just kept my head down and focused on skating and hitting, regardless of—or maybe because of—Kat’s constant reprimands.

I hoped things would be simpler tonight—I didn’t doubt it would be ridiculous and overwhelming, like Honey Hijinks had been, but I just didn’t want to have to deal with any drama. And as much as Kat’s comments rankled me, she wasn’t wrong. Soft wasn’t really my style and only led to hurt—the kind of hurt I’d spent so long pushing down. Things with Shanti had felt kind of nice, but also confusing and scary—it was only a matter of time before hurt entered the picture there, too.