I let my eyes rest on her hands as well and said what I thought would make her go. “Yeah, maybe I was. Maybe we’re just too different.” I stuck my hands in my pockets. “This probably isn’t gonna work.”

She lifted her head sharply. “What? Daya—”

“It’s fine, Shanti. It’s not like we were dating or anything. Easier to quit while we’re ahead.” I shrugged like an asshole, hoping it would speed this conversation along.

She cleared her throat and I knew she was trying to keep her voice from cracking, but I steeled myself against the knowing. “I know what you’re doing, because Kat does it too. But neither of you have to do it. I thought maybe you were starting to see that.”

I shrugged again. Just leave. Please.

When I didn’t reply, she added, “You know this doesn’t make you strong, right?”

That was the last thing I needed to hear right now, and hearing it caused a surge of heat across my chest. The pressure, the thumping, the heat—it was too much. I needed to get out of here. I forced my eyes up to hers with a hard glare. “You think you get me? You think you know me so well just because you think you know Kat? You know nothing about me—”

She tipped her head to the side. “I don’t?”

“No! You don’t.” If you did, you’d leave me alone.

“Well, I’m trying to. You could let me try.” Her voice came out quiet, but clear.

Keeping my voice emotionless, I said, “I don’t need you to try. I don’t want you to. What I really want right now is for you to leave.” I folded my arms across my chest. An added barrier.

After a beat, she said, “Shutting everybody out might feel like the easiest option, but from where I’m standing, it just looks really lonely. If you ever decide you want something different… let me know.” Shanti heaved her bike up onto its rear wheel to turn it around, let the front wheel drop back to the ground, and retreated out the open garage door into the rain.

The relief I thought I’d feel at seeing her go never came.

Chapter Thirty-One

The season opener on the following Saturday was a doubleheader—two games, one after the other. Only four teams made up the league, so I’d get a good look at all the competition in one night. We’d be squaring off against the Skintastics, while the Hell Beasts and Hair Force Babes would compete before us.