My shoulders immediately tensed, and I had to fight back the urge to go nose to nose with her again. Instead I took a deep breath in my chair, then rose and met her gaze, but I kept my shoulders loose and my voice as calm as possible. “I know I let the team down.” The admission sent a twinge through my chest. “I wasn’t thinking of the team—not like you always do, Kat. I was too wrapped up in a whole other fight—mostly with myself.” I kept my eyes on hers even though they were starting to sting. “I’m sorry for letting that get in the way of doing what was right for all of us.”

A slight frown crinkled her brow. One hand slipped from her hip. She actually looked lost for words.

“Aw, rook,” Lena jumped in, “I seriously hurt myself at least twice per season. Granted, this one’s a bit worse than usual, but Kat once broke my wrist—she tell you that?”

Kat rolled her eyes and scoffed, “Way to bring up ancient history, asshole.” She looked at me. Wet her lips. Sighed. “Look, Daya, I like having someone tough like you on the team, but there are good ways to be tough and bad ways to be tough. You just gotta—”

“Seriously?” Shanti and I blurted at the same time. We looked at each other, a moment of amusement passing between us. Then Shanti turned to Kat and added, “You’re going to lecture us on how to be ‘good tough’?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kat asked.

Shanti came over and placed her hand on Kat’s arm. “Sis, you know I love you, but your kind of tough sucks too sometimes.”

I had to struggle to keep the smile off my face. Lena looked like she was struggling too.

Kat was definitely not smiling.

“My kind of tough has kept you pretty fucking safe, wouldn’t you say… sis?”

She was pissed, but I noticed she didn’t shrug off Shanti’s hand, and Shanti kept it right where it was. “It has. And I’ll always be grateful for that. But… aren’t you exhausted? We were both hurt, but I’m okay—we’re both okay. You don’t have to be tough for us anymore.”

Kat looked from Shanti to me to Lena and back to Shanti. I knew the expression on her face well. The struggle between wanting to let your guard down so badly but not wanting to risk getting hurt.

Unfortunately, for now, Kat chose to keep her guard up. “What is this? ’Cause it feels like some kind of fucking intervention, and I’m not down for it.”

She tried to brush past both me and Shanti, but as if by reflex, I caught her hand. We both stared down in surprise and I let go quickly. She stalked away and to her room.