I laugh. “It’s like we are doing a gender role swap. So funny. No worries, I think it’s better that way, too. I was actually scared of what might happen tonight. Enough of that. Just come on in. I won’t even look at you. Look, I closed my eyes.”

“When we are done with the bath, you are heading straight to my mom’s bedroom—I made the bed for you—and I’m going to sleep in my room with the door locked. Don’t even dream of breaking in, okay?”

“Jesus, I’m not going to break into your room! What an assumption! Don’t worry.”

We have fun tossing balls of bubbles at each other, splashing and sinking into the water to hide from each other. We try to snatch the goldfish from each other. After horse-playing for a little while the part of my leg that was operated on starts aching, so I stop moving. Jihyun asks, “Can I touch your breasts?”

“No.”

“Just once.”

“Okay. Can I touch you there?”

“No! Well, okay. But be gentle. I don’t want the stitch to pop.” Jihyun sounds as though he is about to cry.

“What? Are you hurt?”

“No. I just got circumcised.”

I laugh.

Jihyun presses his palm against my breast and quickly pulls back. But then he reaches out with his index finger to touch my nipple. His face looks tense. He is trying to keep it together. I carefully reach down between his legs. There it is. It’s hard, and about the size of a lollipop.

9. “My wish is for reunification of the Korean Peninsula” is a patriotic slogan often taught in Korean schools.

10. There is a tradition in old Korean society in which a maiden would carry a silver knife to kill herself if she ended up in a situation where she could be sexually assaulted.

Stop, Stop

Stop, Stop

There is no one on the street. Far away I see a street cleaner walking away with a broom in his hand, but other than that, there is no one around this early in the morning. The air is cold. I find myself coughing. Am I coughing because I went to bed without drying my hair? I woke up earlier than usual. Most nights I wake up in the middle of the night, but last night I slept deeply. The pot of herbal tea and the soft light coming through the curtains was comforting.