I notice Sol is sound asleep, leaning on my shoulder. She is like a small bird. Thank you for flying to me. I hold her hand with both of mine. Her hand is rough, small, and bony. For some reason I tear up. You keep me going, Sol. Like that spare tire, I was tucked away and forgotten in a dark corner for the longest time. I’ve been an understudy in waiting, never the lead actor of my own life. That’s going to change. Now I’m going to do whatever I like. I will keep going. I need you close when I waste away. Don’t you dare die before me. If you die, I’m gonna kill you! Sol turns her head as my shoulder trembles from sobbing.

“Mmm … yum.” Sounds like she’s eating in her dreams. Maybe she’s eating one of her mother’s apples—the most delicious apples I’ve ever had—after rubbing it clean against her pants.

Bruschetta con Formaggio e Miele & a Lollipop

Bruschetta con Formaggio e Miele & a Lollipop

In Jihyun’s home, a long antique sofa stands on the carpet in the living room. It feels cozy. There’s a tree in the corner of the living room, the same kind as the one in the vestibule (lush and green), potted in a ceramic pot.

“It doesn’t ask for much care. As long as you water it regularly and keep it in the sun it’s happy. My mom thinks they help purify the air.” Jihyun nervously puts on his slippers only to take them off.

“Who waters it?” I ask, reaching for the tree. When my hand touches it, several leaves fall off, making rustling sounds. “What was that noise? Do you have a cat?”

“Huh? I didn’t hear anything. We can’t have pets in this apartment complex. Before my family moved here we had a Yorkshire terrier, a poodle, and a cat. We even had a hedgehog, haha. My father is a real animal lover.”

“I had a cat. Her name was Leche. Leche liked drinking, well, leche. Isn’t that cute? She was limber, adorable, and extremely possessive. I like to think she is doing well without me.”

What are we even talking about? What is this? I suddenly feel depressed, so I walk around and explore the space instead. Why am I here? Nobody told me to come here, I walked in with my own two feet, so why am I having these thoughts? I knock my head with my knuckles.

The living room looks like a gallery. Several pictures of his family are hanging on the wall. You can see the chronological progression through the series of pictures: the more Jihyun ages, the more closely he resembles his father. It looks like he will end up bald.