I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep—I feel a rush of hot air. Not long ago all I felt were the claws of the cold draft seeping under the door and in through my blanket, skinning me alive. Is the heat inside of me burning up this room? What is this smell? Is someone blowing heated hot breath on me?

“Fire! Fire! Wake up!” Sol yells. The blanket is ablaze. Flames flicker like the tongue of a ghost on the edge of the blanket I had been pushing down with my heel. Sol and I together grab a pillow and blanket and use them to smother the flame. The fire goes out too easily and in our shocked state it seems like a joke. It must have been an electrical fire. The electric blanket is blackened on the edge.

“We survived!” We playfully slap each other and giggle.

Wedding Cake

Wedding Cake

Will you marry me?

A Post-It’s hanging on the door. A basket of roses at the doorstep. I scoff. Probably the lover of someone who used to live here must’ve sent this, or some idiot who doesn’t even know where his lover lives. I push the rose basket away with my foot. I click my teeth as I push the key into the doorknob, and just then the door opposite mine opens. A man with bird-nest hair briefly emerges but then slams the door, startled at the sight of me.

I don’t know what kind of people live here. I think four or five people live on this floor. There are ten or so pairs of shoes that step on each other and are being stepped on in the foyer. Sungyun’s room is right before the foyer.

Nana’s mom, the café owner, told me to go out and take down the sign that says ROOM AVAIIABLE OVERNIGHT. She goes on, “Eunyong told me about your situation—she was freaking out the whole time. Are you planning on going back to your old place? I don’t think you can stand your place anymore. Just try to forget everything. You can stay here. We have a room you can use. You can trust me. Don’t worry about the rent.” She quickly added, “In return you can come to the café early, help with the cleaning and grocery shopping with Sungyun.”

That was a month ago. I climbed these stairs with Sungyun making snide remarks at me. It was the same day the scary-looking men in red cotton gloves arrived at Jimin’s place with the moving truck. They took everything: books, clothes, right down to the last spoon. That was when I returned from Jimin’s funeral, I’d spent the day lying catatonic in the corner of the room like unwanted rebar in a junkyard.