I think the song is saying, “I’m here for you.” The man sings in a slow, cloying voice, viscous like honey. I cringe, but I don’t hate his voice. I close my eyes. What if I could find a “doctor” like in the song who would “examine every inch of me?” I anticipate the dentist rising from his seat. He is going to. He has to. He is going to approach me, sit next to me, and touch me. He will kiss my forehead, my nose, and continue descending … I wet my lips with my tongue. I’ve never kissed a man before. If I’d known an opportunity like this would arise, I would’ve brushed my teeth. I had raw onions with black noodles for lunch. I close my eyes and my eyelids tremble. What is taking so long? Should I open my eyes? Won’t you kiss me? I don’t need you to kneel and beg for my love like in the song. Don’t you like me? No, you’re just a coward. I can’t wait. I won’t wait. I will show you how this works. I’ll undo my buttons one by one. I will caress your cheek, kiss you, then you will hold my hand.

“Hey! Yeoul! What are you doing, praying? Didn’t you hear me come in? Were you asleep sitting upright like that? There are customers here!” When I open my eyes, everything is blurry and slowly clears up. Shit, how embarrassing. Eunyong makes a spinning motion with her index fingers by her temple. The dentist and Sungyun are looking at me with confused looks on their faces.

Gwak Eunyong, do I seem crazy to you? Why did you get back so soon anyway? You told me you were going to play billiards in the parlor upstairs with Sungyun. Can I even call you my friend when you choose the worst time to return and ruin things? I hold back all these accusations that want to spring out of my throat, and I gulp down a glass of water. I can’t get a read on the dentist. Does he have any emotions or desires, or is he like the dentures and toothbrushes in his pocket, inanimate and emotionless? Or maybe he’s like a matryoshka, a Russian nesting doll? There might be a different face beneath the face I see, and then yet another.

Proxima Centauri

Proxima Centauri