Today is the longest day of my life. I head to the café to find Eunyong so we can search for Sol together, but the café’s sign is off. 10:15 is too early for the shop to close. I think about going into the café, but I have a bad feeling. The dim light seeping out the door looks like that of a bathhouse, except it feels like these lights aren’t dimmed to make people more comfortable, but to conceal something.

I feel like I can’t make sense of anything unless I trace my turbulent day with Sol. Why am I so weak and indecisive? Eunyong is street-smart and practical, but it looks like I won’t find her tonight. Jihyun and I can communicate only so far. He’s also leaving for Italy the day after tomorrow, so I don’t want to burden him with complicated stories. I feel like someone is following me, and I keep turning around to check. Only mindless pedestrians going their way.

I pass through the narrow passage behind the Humanities building to get to the female students’ lounge. The acrylic sign dangles. Sol, please be here. I think I might just pass out if you are not here, gone to the dorm or copy room or dining room.

The door opens before I muster the courage to approach it. A woman calmly steps out of the Female Student Association’s official meeting room. She bends her knees and starts to lock the door.

“Wait!”

“Huh? Yeoul Sunbe?”

“Is no one in there? Where’s Park Sol?”

“I was waiting for you this whole time. Hold on.” I follow Yeonju into the room, feeling dumbstruck. Yeonju at first seemed strangely distant and severe, but she proves my first impression wrong. The room is disheveled. She opens the gray cabinet and pulls out something from behind lumps of papers and pens. “Sol Sunbe told me I have to give this letter to you. She told me I have to make sure you receive it.” Yeonju hands me what looked like a leftover invitation from a past event and takes off her glasses to carefully wipe them.

“What’s this? You were waiting for me this whole time for this? Were you covering yourself with this dirty blanket to keep yourself warm? Have you eaten?”

I walk Yeonju to the back gate and wait listlessly. I look around to see where I should go. I heard there are undercover cops everywhere on campus. I walk slowly, past the student building, then the old library that just lit up, and the darkened Arts building. The bronze statues seem to be turning their heads and twitching. They’re watching me. I keep looking for a better place to be alone.