‘Yeah right,’ I said. By that time, I’d had a few boyfriends: Bruno who was my brother’s exchange student and here for a summer. Before him there had been Kevin, but I’d lost touch with him when his family moved away; a few dates in between, but no one special like Pete was to Marcia.

‘You’re too fussy,’ said Marcia.

‘I just don’t see the point of compromise, that’s all.’

Marcia smiled. ‘Some day your prince will come. In the meantime, get a bit of practice in.’

‘Maybe.’ But I knew I wouldn’t, not unless it felt special, and the idea of ‘practice’ was not one that appealed, not since the Andrew Murphy disaster, a time I’d told no one about. Despite him, though, I still was a romantic at heart, hoping that one day I’d run into a man who looked as if he’d stepped out of a Pre-Raphaelite painting by Burne-Jones or Rossetti – a King Cophetua down the deli, or Hylas buying hummus at the corner shop.

She left two weeks later. I sat in her empty room after she’d gone and thought: family gone, best friend gone. I’d never felt so alone in my life. It’s sink or swim time, I told myself, and decided I’d swim. I’d be strong, become the type of person who didn’t need anyone; not in a cold-hearted way, but in an independent, self-sufficient way. I’d become cool. I’d be more Zen and detached than Marcia could ever be. If I didn’t need anyone, I couldn’t be let down.

Marcia did come back a year later, but she didn’t return to the house or go to college. She and Pete had got married on a beach in Goa, so it wasn’t Marcia and Bea any more, it was Marcia and Pete. Her parents helped them buy a small house near Chorlton Green, and he started his vegetarian café serving Eastern-style food with Marcia by his side as manager. Though I grew to love Pete, and Marcia was still my dearest friend, it was never the same again. The lesson had gone deep: people move on, make their own plans, and I could never depend on anyone. You’re born alone, you die alone and sometimes you have to live alone too, I’d thought, even though by that time I had a boyfriend, Sam, who had declared undying love for me. I kept him at arm’s length. I wanted to make a life where I needed no one, and was perfectly happy with my own company.

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