‘You failed to mention Jon in the first instance. Are you quite sure there aren’t any others you’ve been keeping from us?’

‘No one worth mentioning.’

‘And are you feeling more drawn to one of them?’

I groaned. ‘Depends on the phases of the moon, the weather, the menopause – oh, I don’t know. I’ve never felt so confused in all my life. Michael, yes definitely … Stuart … yes, yes, though I’m still trying to get my head around the fact that he might be a serious contender, I don’t even know if he thinks of me in that way and I’m so used to repressing whatever I feel for him, the wall keeping it all in is only just coming down if you know what I mean; Jon sometimes yes. Honestly, I’m not sure.’

Heather laughed. ‘Don’t worry. You have three dates set up then; it’s a chance to spend time with each of them and I’m sure it will come clearer.’

I nodded. ‘Although the evening with Stuart isn’t officially a date, more the kind of invite you’d give to a pal; in fact, you could come with me, he said to bring a friend if I wanted.’

‘No, you’re on your own there. Think about the dates as interviews for the role,’ Heather continued. ‘Could be fun; in fact, make sure you have fun and let the best man win.’

I felt a sense of anticipation as well as so many other emotions – fear, uncertainty, self-doubt, confusion. Could I overcome my anxiety about being vulnerable, maybe hurt again, and let myself surrender to whatever or whoever revealed himself?

48

Jon had told me to be ready by eleven and to bring a cardigan.

‘An early lunch on the river, then a boat cruise down to Greenwich,’ said Jon when he appeared at my door the next morning. ‘How does that sound?’

‘Like a practised routine,’ I said, then added, ‘only joking.’

Jon pulled a hurt face. ‘I told you, I’m a changed man.’

‘I’m teasing, it sounds heavenly,’ I said, and looked up at the blue sky above. ‘And we have the perfect day for it.’

We took a cab down to the river, which Jon insisted on paying for, then headed up to the brasserie on the eighth floor of the OXO Tower building. Inside, the décor was sophisticated and modern, with slate tables and a leather-clad bar, but it was outside that drew the eye. Through the floor-to-ceiling glass wall was a stunning view of the river and London with St Paul’s Cathedral to the right,

Jon had booked us a table by the window and, once seated, he ordered two glasses of champagne. ‘That OK?’ he asked.

‘Oh yes. I feel like I’m on holiday up here.’ I did too. Since my move to Pete and Marcia’s, I felt free and ready for new adventures.