Melanie’s flat was on the ground floor in a semi-detached Edwardian house in Muswell Hill. I rang the bell and Michael let me in. He closed the door behind me, took my jacket and hung it up, turned and pushed me up against the wall. He moved close so I could feel his body against me and looked into my eyes. The intensity of his expression and proximity sent shock waves through me. As soon as he could see the desire he awakened, he tilted my chin up and kissed me with a hunger that made me feel weak with longing. He pulled me closer to him then guided me to the sofa, where we sank into the cushions. My head was spinning. I hadn’t been expecting this. It felt utterly delicious but I wasn’t ready. Part of me felt locked, unable to respond.

Michael felt my resistance and pulled back. ‘What’s the matter? Don’t you want to?’

I took a deep breath. ‘I do but …’ I sat up. ‘It’s too soon.’

Michael groaned. ‘Too soon? Too soon for what?’

‘This. I hardly know you any more. You can’t expect me to—’

‘Bea, you know me so well and I know you feel the same way. I can feel the heat between us and I know you do too.’ He pulled me close and began to kiss me passionately again, and it did feel wonderful, arousing sensations I hadn’t felt in years. I could just succumb, I could but … I gently pushed him away. ‘No. I’m not that young girl any more. I … we … need to talk, get to know each other again.’

‘Bea, you don’t have to prove anything to me. I know that you’re not a pushover. You’re strong, independent and, believe me, that’s so attractive.’ He realized I wasn’t giving in, so he got up. He looked like a small boy who’d had his favourite toy taken away. ‘I suppose we could talk, but that’s not what I had in mind.’ He turned to face me. ‘Sometimes I think you have to seize the moment, Bea. What we have doesn’t come along so many times in a lifetime and I think we’re both old enough to recognize that.’

‘Which is why I want to take things more slowly. I don’t even know how long you’re going to be here for, or when you’re going back to Thailand. What are your intentions?’

‘You sound like my father.’

‘I mean, what do you want? To reconnect or just a moment of pleasure?’

‘Both.’

‘Then don’t rush me. I haven’t seen you for thirty years then you just appear and—’

‘You’re worried I’d just take off again.’

‘Of course I am. It’s been weeks since I’ve even heard from you. For all I knew, you might have gone for good.’