‘Nothing can happen without your consent, and although I will be making suggestions, it will really be you who is in control,’ said Simon. ‘When you’re ready, I want you to close your eyes. Let’s start by getting you to relax. I’ll make some further suggestions to reinforce that you continue to sleep well, then take it from there.’

I closed my eyes and he began to talk me through the breathing, then the countdown. At first I felt tense and was particularly aware of it as he talked me through letting go of different areas around my body. I willed each part to let go and, after a few minutes, I found myself relaxing a bit, my limbs beginning to feel heavy as I listened to his soothing voice.

‘Good, good,’ Simon continued. ‘Keep focusing, safe and warm, two, relaxed and floating …’

I was vaguely aware of his voice droning on in the background as he instructed me to imagine that I was in a lift going down, down … Going down a set of stairs, further down, down … ‘Now I want you to go back to a time when you felt very happy and safe, a time of comfort.’

I immediately recalled a time with my parents. We were on a beach with our dog, Jack. ‘How old are you Bea?’

‘About six.’ I didn’t feel as if I was hypnotized, just recapturing a memory from my past, albeit one I hadn’t recalled for many years. It felt good.

‘And where are you?’

‘Southport Beach. The sea is miles out. It doesn’t matter.’

‘Good, good. Now, I want you to go back to another time. A time when you felt let down. A time when you felt loss.’

Another memory came to mind. I was older. Our cat, Samantha, had just died. Matthew and I were in the back garden, digging a hole in which to bury her.

‘How old are you now, Bea?’

‘Eight.’

‘And where are you?’

‘Outside, it’s raining. We’re sad. Our cat died.’ My mind flashed forward as if scanning for other times when I felt abandoned or sad. I remembered the time my parents left England, then soon after when Marcia had gone, then Michael, Graham; the sense of loss weighing down on me as more memories loomed like dark, threatening shadows, ready to emerge from some deep, buried place inside.

‘OK, now I want you to relax, let go and move away from those times,’ Simon continued, and I was glad to leave that pit of recollections behind. ‘You’re safe and warm, going further down …’ Again his voice droned on, and as I drifted I felt I was beginning to fall asleep. The room felt warm, I was oh so comfortable. My body felt so heavy, so … ‘Further back, down, down …’ I felt myself floating. I could see a mist in front of me.

‘Bea, where are you?’