‘Glad to get out of the rain outside,’ I replied. ‘And all good otherwise, whatever you did seems to have helped and I’ve been sleeping well.’ I didn’t tell him that I’d almost cancelled the session about ten times because part of me wondered how, in the space of a few weeks, I’d gone from sane business woman to the sort of person who was considering talking to a stranger about patterns in the subconscious mind. My Bea from last year wouldn’t have entertained it for a second yet, here I was, the beginning of February, about to broach the subject with Simon.

‘Excellent.’

‘Plus some of the issues that were causing the lack of sleep are beginning to be resolved.’

‘So do you want to have another session on relaxation? I sensed last time you were here that there was something else you wanted to talk about.’

‘I do, did. Er … bit awkward. It was something you said, about patterns that can repeat in someone’s life due to a deep-seated belief that can have a negative impact on life.’

‘You think you have such a belief?’

‘Maybe, probably, yes.’

Simon laughed. ‘Maybe, probably. So what is this belief?’

‘It’s to do with relationships. I’m currently single, have been for a while, and I wondered if somehow I might be sabotaging them myself by my thoughts … God, this sounds mad now that I’m actually saying it.’

‘Not at all. Makes perfect sense to me. We create our lives from our thoughts, our choices. Opportunities can arise in life, but really how they play out is how we respond to them and that applies to relationships too.’

‘I saw a psychic on a recent trip to India. She said something similar: that first comes destiny, and then our free will in how to respond to it. She said that I have it ingrained in my unconscious mind that love is painful and, because of that, I keep recreating that pattern.’

‘And you believed her?’

‘Not at first. My more rational side said it’s all nonsense and that she probably told the same story to everyone she saw – or something similar, at least.’

‘You were cynical?’

‘I guess.’

‘That’s not a bad thing; in fact I think it’s wise to question, but you mentioned your “more rational side”. Does that mean that you have another side? Not so rational?’

‘I suppose I do, and often they’re at war with each other.’

Simon nodded. ‘Indeed. Do you believe that love is painful?’

‘Partly. The getting-left-behind part, not the falling-in-love stage.’

‘Is that what has happened? That you’ve got left behind? Is that what you’ve come to believe always happens?’

‘It’s been my experience, so yes, I do, but I can’t be the only person who has been left or abandoned. We can’t all be making that happen by our thoughts.’