Two and a half hours after he started, Arthur ties off the suture.

‘Ray?’ he says, breathing out heavily and finally looking up. ‘What’s the mnemonic we use for remembering completion procedures?’

Oh no. When Ray’s put on the spot, he never knows the wretched answer, however simple and obvious. This one could be particularly painful, because he might try and guess it. At least he’s cut his fingernails and knows now to keep them clean. William imagines him at the sink in his bedsit, scrubbing at his hands. His hair is still matted and haywire.

Ray stares at the window for a moment, then lifts his eyebrows. ‘Fold her frock and put it in the drawer?’

Arthur’s jawbone twitches but his face remains expressionless. ‘And what do you think that stands for, Ray?’

Ray catches William’s eye and winks. William shakes his head slightly and looks back at the body.

‘Can’t remember, sir,’ Ray says, with that terrible cheerfulness.

‘William?’ Arthur says.

‘Pack Her Cotton Dress Clean Today Please,’ he says quietly.

‘Correct.’ Arthur turns his body towards Ray. ‘Say it.’

‘Pack Her Cotton Dress Clean Today Please,’ Ray speaks loudly and clearly. William knows that this cocksure manner is only to save face and that when he goes back to his bedsit it’s another story, but he wonders if he should tell Ray how annoying it is.

‘And William, please tell your colleague here what it stands for.’

‘Pack is pack orifices. Her is set hair – or shave as appropriate. Cotton is cosmetise, if necessary. Dress is dress as directed by family. Clean is clean all mortuary equipment. Today is tidy up and check stocks. Please is attend to personal cleanliness.’

‘Thank you, William.’ Arthur clasps his hands. ‘I’d like you to take charge of these proceedings with Ray as your helper, and please give a running commentary on what you’re doing and why.’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Good. And Ray?’

‘Yes, sir.’

‘Humour is important – embalmers need it to keep sane. But I’m telling you now, you will not use humour to cover your ignorance. I will never find it amusing that you have failed to learn even the most rudimentary of things. Things have got to change. Do you understand?’

While William agrees with Arthur, he sorely wishes he’d say these things to Ray in private. Roger and Simon, working with Norman at the next table, can hear every word, and each public humiliation stokes Ray’s resentment, which William will then have to endure at the pub. Outside, a car with a hole in its exhaust splutters, darkening the window high up on the white wall. Ray meets Arthur’s stare.

‘I understand, sir.’

‘Good,’ replies Arthur. ‘Off you go, William, and ask Ray to assist as and when you need him to.’