Olivia doesn’t answer my calls, so I go in search of her. Not finding her in the kitchen or living room, I head upstairs.

I find her sitting on the floor against our bed with her knees up to her chest and a piece of paper in her hands.

“Olivia? You okay?”

She’s frozen to the spot; I’m not even sure if she heard me. I take a knee beside her and gently rub her shoulder, alerting her to my presence. She sniffles and looks up at me, her eyes glossy with unshed tears.

“What’s wrong? How can I help?”

A small giggle escapes her lips, and a strand of hair falls from her ponytail right over her eye, so I grasp it between my fingers, twirling it slightly.

“Nothing, I’m fine. I’m just remembering that I was writing letters well before my therapist suggested it.”

She looks down at the paper she’s holding again. I follow her gaze, and one thing stands out; my name is at the top of the page.

“You wrote me a letter?”

“Several. I just found them when I was unpacking.”

“When?”

“Throughout the years we were apart. I wanted to send them to you, but I just—I couldn’t.” She shakes her head. “I wouldn’t. I’m sorry.”

“What have I told you about the sorrys?”

A tear glides down her cheek; I lean to kiss it away.

“Do you—do you want to read them now?”

My words catch in my throat. We’ve talked in detail about our time apart but a chance to read her thoughts in those moments? I don’t think I can pass it up.

“I…” I cut myself off, nodding instead.

She picks up a pile of letters by her side and hands them all to me before grabbing my face and pulling me in for a deep kiss.

“I never stopped loving you,” she says as she stands and heads for the door.

“You’re not gonna stay while I read?”

“Oh no, my heart can’t take that. But come find me when you’re done.”

She closes the door behind her, and as if pulled by a magnetic force, my eyes immediately turn back to the first letter. I take in the delicate script of her handwriting, tracing it with my fingertips.

Without another thought, I begin reading.

June 10, 2010

Dear Kai,

I’m not sure if you saw it on the news or not, but I did it. I made it to the pros. I’m officially in Orlando now. Orlando. That’s…so far from you.

I fucking hate it.

God, I miss you. I hate that you looked at me with such pain the last time I saw you. I never wanted that. I only wanted to save you.