Chapters (22)
- Dedication
- AUTHOR’S NOTE I’LL NEVER WRITE THIS BOOK
- PREFACE YAYAYAYA!
- INTRODUCTION OKAY, I’LL WRITE THIS BOOK
- CHAPTER 1 MY MULTIDIMENSIONAL BIRTH
- CHAPTER 2 LET’S SET A RECORD, BABY!
- CHAPTER 3 THE TWO-TIME
- CHAPTER 4 GROOMING WITH THE DOCTOR
- CHAPTER 5 ALL RIGHT, I’M BACK
- CHAPTER 6 THE DOC’S FIRST SPONSOR
- CHAPTER 7 THE SECOND TIME I DROVE A LAMBORGHINI (AND HOW YOU CAN DRIVE ONE TOO)
- CHAPTER 8 THE SECRET BEHIND WHAT, EXACTLY, I’M A DOCTOR OF
- CHAPTER 9 THE KUMITE EXCEPT FOR VIDEO GAMES AND ALSO IT’S REAL
- CHAPTER 10 THE ATHLETICISM—WOW!
- CHAPTER 11 THE KUMITE EXCEPT FOR VIDEO GAMES AND ALSO IT’S REAL
- CHAPTER 12 THE RIGHT FLIP PHONE FOR YOU
- CHAPTER 13 HOLLYWOOD DOMINATION—AND DOC’S DISILLUSIONMENT
- CHAPTER 14 WHAT I’M THE DOCTOR OF
- CHAPTER 15 THE END???
- EPILOGUE FROM THE DESK OF NIGEL P. FARNSWORTH III
- AFTERWORD DID YOU REALLY THINK I’D GIVE THAT PUNK EDITOR THE LAST WORD IN MY BOOK???
- ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Here, I’ll just move aside my tweed curtain so I can see outside. STOP! Who’s there? Whoever’s out there, I’m warning you! When I get angry I write very scathing letters!
Dear God! Something in the distance, coming closer! Look at the size of that frame, so powerful! So athletic! And that mane of hair so black it is negative space against night itself! How quickly it moves toward my window, how decisively, how dominantly. Thank goodness I’m three stories up, no one can vertical-leap this high!
No! How—?!? It can’t be! I saw you disappear! I—
AFTERWORD 
DID YOU REALLY THINK I’D GIVE THAT PUNK EDITOR THE LAST WORD IN MY BOOK???
Oh, and the last word is…
YAYAYAYA!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
DR DISRESPECT is the most famous, dominant gamer in the history of the world. The Two-Time Back-to-Back 1993–94 Blockbuster Video Game Champion currently resides in his multimillion-dollar top-secret complex, where he spends his time closing monster deals on his flip phone, driving his slate-black Lamborghini Diablo, and intimidating his enemies with his mustache, Slick Daddy. Violence. Speed. Momentum. is his first book, and it’ll definitely be a huge, massive, record-breaking bestseller.
FOR MORE ON THIS AUTHOR:
SimonandSchuster.com/Authors/Dr-Disrespect
SimonandSchuster.com
@GalleryBooks
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