She puts away laundry in the extra dresser and stares out the window that overlooks the pool. She attempts to grasp at her thoughts, but they are slippery. Her child is lying. Her child chopped off all her hair. Her child set fire to her father’s possessions.

Her child could have died.

She knows this is a massive cry for attention. When is the last time they’d spent real quality time together? Crystal pulls up her calendar on her phone to check her schedule and realizes just how difficult that will be over the coming weeks. She has so many jobs to do, Bec’s kitchen renovation being one of them. She can’t disappoint her clients. But Savi comes first. Her daughter always comes first.

On her way back down the hall, she peeks into Savi’s room, but she’s already asleep. She pulls her comforter over her shoulders and kisses her forehead. Despite all that’s happened, Savi is still the best thing in her world.

Nothing lasts.

The truth is harsh and quick and sends a physical stab of pain through her heart. Tears quickly splash onto her lap at the thought of losing Savi—of something tragic happening to her too. While all parents have that fear, it used to be a hypothetical worry. Now, after what she’s been through, that worry has roots.

“I love you,” she whispers. “No matter what.” She tiptoes back downstairs. In the kitchen, she pours herself a glass of wine. Outside, the heat is still stifling. The ugly charred earth stares back at her, and the stench of burned plastic and cardboard lingers in the air. She’ll have to re-sod that area or do something creative to cover it up. The dollar signs collect in her mind.

She doesn’t want to think about that now. On a whim, she sets her glass down on the table, undresses to her bra and panties, and dives into the tepid water. She stays under until she’s straining for breath. She thinks of Rebecca—how terrifying it must have been to dive into a pool because she feared her child was drowning. And then she thinks of Savi—how unhappy Crystal must really appear for her own daughter to set fire to her father’s belongings just so she can move on.

My dear girl.

Crystal claws to the surface and once again bursts into tears. She swims to the edge of the pool and clings to the hard cement. Parenthood is so hard, swinging constantly between joy and terror … all of this pressure as the only living parent. While she worries about something happening to Savi, what if something happens to her? Who would take care of Savi? She cries harder, not knowing if she’s crying for Savi, herself, her poor, dead ex-husband, or the uncertain future.

Paul.