“No, I’m fine.” I take a few unsteady steps toward the swimming pool. My green dress trails behind in a silky train. The blue water runs parallel, pungent with chlorine.

I rotate a few steps and make out a blurred shape walking toward me with a bundle in her arms. Candace? My heart leaps. I begin walking at a fast clip. I just want to be with my baby. I want to take Jackson out of here, go home, and get some sleep.

“Oh!” Candace screams. A dark mass flies from her arms and splashes into the pool. It bobs on top of the water and begins to sink. Fear detonates like a bomb.

Jackson’s name is on my lips. Candace screeches again and careens toward the pool’s edge. It all happens in slow motion: she is walking toward me, baby in arms, then she is tripping, and the bundle goes flying. Before I know what I’m doing, I kick off my heels and dive into the water. The ominous, unexpected splash steals a collective gasp from the crowd. The water’s icy fingers asphyxiate my lungs, but I claw toward the object. My satin gown gathers moisture and drags me down.

The water makes everything even darker, but I will drown before I come up without my child. I trace the trail of the fallen object in my mind and listen for chortled cries. I wait for someone to jump in after me, but no one comes. My lungs bite for air. I open and close my hand and plunge deeper into nothingness. Just when I think my lungs will explode, my fingers bump into something gritty. I yank and realize it’s not Jackson. What is it? I loop a strap around my wrist and tug. My hands close in on something large and full of lumps: his diaper bag.

The humiliation propels me toward the surface, the bag heavy and last to rise. My lungs scream, and I break free just as I run out of breath.

“Rebecca!” Crystal is at the pool’s edge. She reaches for my drenched arms. “Oh my God. Are you okay?” She helps me out of the pool. The crowd has grown impossibly silent. I turn toward Candace, who profusely apologizes. The wet silk clings to my body like a second skin.

“Oh my God, Rebecca. I’m so sorry,” Candace says. “I dropped the diaper bag. You thought … I feel so awful. He woke up and wouldn’t take the bottle, so I just thought I’d find you and see if there was anything else I could do…”

Jess approaches with a fluffy towel and wraps it around me. “Let’s get you upstairs.”

I ignore the dramatic murmurs from the neighbors. Candace follows behind, her apology on repeat.