“Maybe … Jess thinks I’m just overly tired, but I don’t know. I just have this weird feeling.”

“When you live alone, it’s easy to feel scared. Especially with a kid.” Crystal thinks about Savi, about what she would do to protect her. “But you’re doing great.”

Bec smiles. “Remains to be seen.”

“I’ve had a weird feeling too, lately, if I’m being honest.”

Bec cocks her head. “How so?”

“Just some weird things happening around the house.”

“Like what?”

She hasn’t mentioned it, but some of her dead husband’s belongings have gone missing: his vintage Rolex, a few Navy medals, a journal, a business ledger. “Some of Paul’s things.”

Bec takes a sip. “Savi?”

“I don’t think so. She knows she can have anything of his, if she just asks.”

“Then who? The nanny?” Bec jokes.

She hired Pam a few months ago, and though Crystal isn’t a naturally trusting person, she is even less so with a bubbly millennial on her hands. But Pam is exceptional with Savi, which is what matters most. “I can’t bring myself to ask her, but I think I might have to.”

“And you’re positive it’s not Savi just wanting something of her dad’s?”

Crystal shakes her head. “No, we had a long talk about it.”

“Maybe you could get one of those nanny cams. Spy a bit.”

“I should get a nanny cam,” she laughs. “Though, if it is Pam, that means I’ll have to find another nanny, and I’m way too tired for that.” Plus, she can’t imagine taking another person away from Savi.

“I get that.” Bec glances toward the stroller and turns serious. “I have to say, the one silver lining in all of this? That Jackson won’t remember losing Chris.”

“That is a silver lining,” Crystal says. Savi wasn’t so lucky. “I was a terrible mother when Savi was a baby.” Her cheeks flush from the admission. Inwardly, Crystal cringes thinking about Savi as an infant. She suffered from postpartum depression and didn’t feel attached to Savi the way a mother should. Looking back, she still marvels that she got through it in one piece. It’s why she never wants to hold her friends’ babies or talk much about them. She’s not good with babies. Once Savi could walk and talk though, she knew just what to do.

To her surprise, Rebecca laughs. “You mean, you didn’t enjoy sleep deprivation, leaky boobs, and being hormonal? What’s wrong with you?”