Officer Toby is quiet, and for a panicked moment, I wonder if they’re going to take the baby anyway. Lock me up for lying to authorities. He clears his throat. “Say no more.” I imagine Toby lifting his hand. Instead of challenging me, relief replaces the skepticism. Relief to be through with this nonsense. Relief to go back to important matters that aren’t make-believe. Relief to alert the chief that it’s all been handled. “Look, none of us can imagine all that you’ve been through,” Toby continues. “But I do think you should have a psych evaluation to make sure everything’s good,” he adds.

“Already on it. I’m taking her now.” Jake speaks up before I can make an indignant retort. “I’m handling it from here. She’ll get the help she needs. Toby.” Fists pumping in a firm handshake signals the meeting is over.

We turn to leave, but Toby stops me. “I meant what I said when we first met. Let me know if you need anything.”

I bite my lip so hard I’m afraid it might split. We are out of the station before I can change my mind about what I’ve just done.

“Jesus Christ,” Jake mumbles. He smacks the automatic door and it opens into the steamy night.

“Now what?” I grab Jake’s elbow in place of the cane.

“Now we get you home.” There’s a new tone in his voice—urgency, frustration, or fury—I can’t tell. The walk is brisk, the hour late. It seems all my insomnia has prepared me for this very situation. Being “on” when everyone else is asleep.

At my door, I hand Jake the keys. The baby sleeps snugly against my chest.

“I’m just going to put him to bed,” I whisper.

“Rebecca.” Jake stops me. “What you said in there about wanting attention.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” I say. “I would never pull a stunt like that for your attention. I’d hope you know me better than that.”

“No, that’s not what I meant. I just wanted to make sure there wasn’t any truth to that. I mean, I’d understand it, but I need to know.”

“I’m going to pretend you didn’t just say that.” I take the stairs so he can’t see the flame of my cheeks. At the nursery, I pause at the door. Though Jackson isn’t here, his scent still fills the room. I unstrap the baby and gently lay him in the crib, sweeping my hands over his little body to make sure he’s comfortable. I flick on the noise machine and get lost in the staticky roar.