Flossie said, “Do you think we could stop talking about your head for one minute and talk tactics?”

Vaisey said, “What tactics?”

Flossie pushed Vaisey quite hard and said, “Oooooh, you little japesters—you know what plan. Me-using-Ben-as-my-decoy-to-get-Seth’s-attention tactics.”

Flossie’s “plan” is to make Seth think that she likes Ben so that he’ll be jealous.

I said, “Is that really fair to Batboy?”

Flossie said, “I sure don’t want to bring this up, Miss Lullabelle, but you were the one who first trapped Batboy in the sweet nectar of your lips.”

Uurrgh!

Wow, the church hall looked like a proper gig. It had flashing lights and a bar and a “chill-out space” full of beanbags. Which were supposed to be for lying on when you’d been dancing, but already the rough village lads were hitting each other with them.

Typical.

It was heaving. In fact, it looked like most of the village were there. But when we arrived, it went quiet like in a Western film, you know, when the sheriff walks in through the swing doors and all the cowboys stub out their fags and start feeling for their guns.

I’m not saying the village people had guns. But they all stopped talking and looked at us. Then a stray dog came and sat down beside us. So it was the whole village versus the Tree Sisters and a Labrador.

Where were all the other Dother Hall girls?

And the Woolfe boys?

Flossie said, “Oh Lordy, Lordy.”

Vaisey whispered, “Don’t look at them. Pretend we’re talking.”

I said, “We are talking.”

Jo said, “No, I know what Vaisey means. Nod your heads a lot. I’ll start.” And she said loudly and slowly, “Erm, it’ll be brillage when Phil and the boys get here, won’t it?”

We all said, “Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Nod, nod, nod.

Jo said, “Do you think I should snog Phil or wait for him to snog me?”

We nodded.

She said, “What does that mean?”

We nodded again.

She said, “Look, one nod for me and a double nod for him.”

But then we all got mixed up so it was more or less continual nodding. After a bit the rest of the villagers started talking again and the dog wandered off.

After a few more minutes of nodding, I said, “I really do hope someone comes soon because my neck’s about to snap off.”

Then we heard chanting outside. “We want fun and we want it now!!!!”

Practically the whole of Woolfe Academy crashed through the doors. Quickly followed by a gaggle of Dother Hall girls. Phil was leading the chanting.

When he saw Jo, he rushed over to her and snogged her! People yelled, “Whey hey!!!” Then Phil shouted to Jo, “Behave yourself, madam! Please be gentle with me.” Jo hit him with her bag, leapt into his arms, and the party began.

I knew most of the boys from Woolfe by sight and said hello to Edward and Robin and Ben and John and James and Elton and a few others. But there was no Charlie.