Then Jo shouted, “Here’s Queen of Hate, Kate!”

And I stamped on and clicked my fingers in Petruchio’s face. The crowd started clapping along with the beat.

The rap battle began. Vaisey rapped:

Listen up, sister Kate

Before it too late

You no Queen

You mean

Uh-huh

Too true

You got a face like a shrew.

And she slapped my face. Quite hard.

At the end, I was a bit annoyed that Vaisey’s Inner Man had probably left a hand-shaped mark on my shoulder. So I gave it my all.

I stalked around moodily, looking at the crowd. Kissing my teeth and pointing at random people.

Including Dr. Lightowler.

I even kicked Bob’s drums. He came and stood in front of them. I put my hands on my hips and began my Kate rap:

Me a shrew?

Get you!

Call yourself Petruchio

You is just a joke-io

Clear off unless you want a poke-io

Peace

Rastafari

Yo.

Then Jack started playing a hiddly diddly on the drums. My knees couldn’t resist so I flung aside my coat and released my legs.

The spontaneous Irish dancing was a huge hit with the crowd. Everyone was whooping and cheering and we had to take three bows.

Blaise was jumping up and down and Sidone said to me, “Being funny is the hardest thing. Listen to your golden slippers of applause. I’ve always said there’s something really, really unusual about you, Tallulah.”

I’m a star, I’m a star!!! I’m a . . .

Seth stepped into the light from out of the trees. He went straight over to Flossie who was talking to Ben. Seth tapped Ben on the shoulder and said, “Here’s ten pence, young lad. Go and get yourself a sausage.”

And then he got hold of Flossie and snogged her so much the bells on her jester’s hat started ringing. The Woolfe sports master came up and tapped Seth on the shoulder, saying, “Now then, young man, none of that business here.”

Seth stopped kissing Flossie and got another ten pence out of his pocket. “Get yourself a sausage as well, little lad.”

Amazing.

The Bottomly sisters turned up and evilled by as they headed for the pies and peas stall. Then Cain appeared. All in black. He glanced at me. And winked. How dare he!!

Beverley turned back to talk to him but then a minute later she ran off crying into the woods.

Jack and Ruben started the “I’m Your Darkest Nightmare but It’s Me You Want” song. Seth slapped Flossie on the bum and went and got his guitar and joined in the rhythm. Bob handed Cain a mike and he started singing.

Bad luck and trouble

Are my middle name

If you were me, you would be the same

Hey now, baby, why dun’t you come with me

I want to show you how very bad I can be.

I’m not listening to this anymore. I turned away and there was Charlie.

He said, “Hello, Tallulah.”