Everyone cheered!!! And Jo did a special dance with Bob.

I told Vaisey in private about Cain’s note on the poster and she said, “Lullah, we’ll be there with you. . . . Don’t let stupid Cain stop you seeing your mates and being normal.”

And that is why we’re all going to The Jones’s gig on Saturday night!!!!!!!!!!!!

My inner snogger

MY SQUIRREL ROOM LOOKED like backstage at the Oscars on Saturday evening. Makeup everywhere and growing hysteria. Even the lunatic twins were covered in makeup by the time we’d got ready. Then they brought their tortoises up to have some makeup put on.

I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to get a tortoise to put its head out of its shell so you can apply lip gloss, but they don’t like it.

At seven thirty, we set off across the green to the church hall. Jack smuggled a note to Vaisey to say that the Woolfe boys are allowed to come to the gig, but they have a quarter-past-eleven curfew when the sports master will meet them to walk them back.

We are all giddy gerties with excitement.

I said to the Tree Sisters, “I know it’s silly, but I’m really looking forward to seeing Charlie. I hope he’ll be there. I know he’s got a tiny girlfriend so I’m only looking forward to seeing him just as a mate.”

Jo said, “Yes, I can see that—the sort of mate who’s bought a new lip gloss and done double mascara application with sparkly eyelashes. That sort of mate.”

Vaisey put her arm through mine.

“Shhh, Jo, I know what Lullah means. I think you look lovely with your sparkly eyes and your shiny black hair.”

Flossie said, “I don’t think it’s Charlie that you should be thinking about. I think the nose-licker likes you. I saw him looking at you after rehearsal.”

I didn’t know what to say so I looked at Vaisey.

Vaisey went bright red and Flossie saw it. She said, “Oy—what’s going on? Why is your head about to drop off, Vaisey?”

Vaisey said, “I don’t know.”

Jo got interested then. “You don’t know why your own head is going to drop off?”

Vaisey looked at me for help. Flossie saw that and said, “Why are you looking at Lullah?”

And Jo said, “And why is Lullah’s head now going to drop off?”

I couldn’t take it anymore. Vaisey looked like she was going to faint.

So I told them all in a rush about the Number 6 Cain tongue incident on the moors.

Flossie said, “You’ve secretly done Number Six with the Dark Black Crow of Heckmondwhite?”

Then Jo leapt on me and shouted, “You are an animal in tights!”

So that’s it. The Tree Sisters know my worst secret. I feel somehow cleansed.

As we walked over to the church hall, I said, “Well, I’m glad I’ve told you. Now I can just get it all out of my head and get on with my life.”