What he actually meant was that we had to imagine the puppets. Because there were no puppets.

What?

No puppets in a puppet workshop?

Monty shouted, “I do have slides, girls. Asseyez-vous, mes chères.”

We were grumbling as he showed us slides of what different puppets looked like and what they could do. He was showing us a puppet dog fetching a stick with the aid of two puppeteers.

I said, “What’s the point of doing a puppet workshop without puppets? It’s not a puppet workshop, is it? It’s just hanging about in a room with Monty.”

Flossie said, “You wouldn’t have a sausage fight without sausages, would you?”

Monty flicked off the slide projector, which fell over as it only had one leg, and adjusted his onesie.

“Girls, don’t be downhearted. Here at Dother Hall we foster a sense of ‘can do!’ Don’t we? When the roof fell in, did we falter? No!!!! When the bankers and taxmen tried to close us down, what did we say? We said . . . pick yourself up, dust yourself down, and start all over again!!!!”

After he’d done his little tap dance, Vaisey said, “Sir, what do we have instead of puppets?”

Monty said, “Aha, we have OURSELVES. Regardez-vous the wonder of puppetry.”

And he started lifting one arm slowly into the air. Like it was on a string.

Then he floppily let his hand fall until it rested on his hip.

Then he lifted his leg up. And placed it all wobbly over the other one.

Like some enormous puppeteer was lifting his leg up with a string.

We began to get the picture.

It doesn’t matter what I do, Dr. Lightowler thinks I’m deliberately doing it to annoy her.

After class, I was continuing the magic of puppetry by walking along the corridor lifting one leg up and placing it down carefully. Then lifting the other one up and waggling my head around from side to side, like it was on strings.

The others went into the loos. But I was still being a puppet. I put my puppet hand on the outside loo-door handle, but it was too floppy. I tried again with my other floppy puppet hand.

Dr. Lightowler said, “What are you doing, Tallulah Casey?”

I said, “Er, well, I was just opening the door as a puppet. . . .”

She said, “You are a silly girl.” And she looked at me with her big starey eyes.

Weird.

When the Tree Sisters got out of the loo, I told them about Charlie. Vaisey squeezed me. “Oooooooh, Lulles, he came to see you specially on purpose!”

Jo said, “Yada yada yada. Oh yes, Lullah, go on about what it’s like to walk about in freedom talking to boys, why don’t you? It’s like showing a starving man a chip. No, not a chip. A packet of chips with extra chips on top. That’s what it’s like for me.”

Vaisey said, “I’m going to come into the village after college with you, Lulles. I haven’t seen Ruby for ages.”