Everyone looked at me. My whole head went red. Some of the girls giggled, but most looked a bit sad.

Dr. Lightowler went on. “We expect in return maturity and responsibility from you. You all know how near we came to closure last term, and how much our future depends on our good reputation. Which is why last night’s incident is so heinous.”

What incident?

There was a hum of whispered comments.

Dr. Lightowler continued. “I happened to be checking the building at lights-out last night and heard laughter from the dorms. Naturally I went in to settle things down. As I entered, unexpectedly a boy . . .”

The whole assembly gasped.

Dr. Lightowler went on.

“. . . a boy fled out of the window and down the fire escape. I shouted for him to halt, but in his cowardly running away he fell through the potting-shed roof and escaped into the night before he could be apprehended. APPARENTLY, none of the girls had ANY IDEA who this boy was. He had just ‘appeared’ and then leapt out through the window. One of the girls said perhaps he was one of Bob’s friends who had left by the wrong exit.”

We looked at Bob.

Bob came clinking up to the center of the stage. He had so many spanners on his belt that his trousers were practically round his ankles. “Listen up, dudes. My buddies do not leave through windows. They never have; they never will. That is our code. It is also a health and safety issue: A window is not a door. End of. This is, like, bad news.”

Dr. Lightowler said, “Thank you, Bob. I—”

But Bob hadn’t finished. “Secondly, this is a major downer. The roof of the potting shed is like totally gone. I will have to personally gaffer in another twenty bin liners. That’s a good twelve quid’s worth. Think about it. Peace.”

He nodded and started to leave the stage and then said, “Oh and just put your ears back on for a mo, dudes. The Iron Pies are doing a gig at Blubberhouses on the twentieth and it will be like mega so get your dancing boots on and come.”

When we filed out of the main hall, the Tree Sisters were coming out of Sidone’s lair. They looked very glum.

I said, “What happened???”

Jo was livid. “How am I ever going to use my snogging skills again? I can’t believe this. I didn’t think he’d come and then there was a scrabbling noise and he came in through the window.”

I said, “Oh my goodness, it was Phil! Oh Our Lady of Lourdes and Her Miraculous Tears, he actually came. Phil actually came into the dorm.”

Jo was going on. “It’s so unfair. Phil was just doing his Tarzan impression on the windowsill and we were laughing when Owly burst in, so he leapt through the potting-shed roof.”

Vaisey said, “You can still see the boy shape.”

Jo was going on. “And now I’ll never see him again.”