Back The Taming of the Tights Save as PDF
Contents ( 33)
  1. Dedication
  2. Contents
  3. Filling my tights again
  4. Lullah’s Lululuuuve List
  5. Return of the lunatic twins
  6. Snogs ahoy!
  7. The Blubberhouses Large Ladies Who Pole Dance for Fun Society
  8. Boy Ambush
  9. You don’t want to do any more winking back
  10. The fire escape of desire
  11. I’ve eaten snail shells
  12. Snogging and Jazzles
  13. The magic of puppetry
  14. Return of the beast in trousers
  15. See you there, cheeky miss
  16. My inner snogger
  17. Naughty bumberskite
  18. The church bells of doom
  19. Should I put nail varnish on my hoofs?
  20. The Dark Black Crow of Heckmondwhite
  21. He’s got the right amount of lip
  22. Praise the knees!
  23. Fir-cone earrings and knitted onesies
  24. The Taming of the Tights
  25. The Corker-Holding with Winter Socks scene
  26. Georgia’s Ace Gang Snogging Scale
  27. Tallulah’s glossary
  28. Back Ads
  29. About the Author
  30. Books by Louise Rennison
  31. Credits
  32. Copyright
  33. About the Publisher

But then the lights went up and we sort of stepped apart.

Charlie said, “Er . . . thanks. That was nice. I’m just going to say well done to Jack. See you in a min.”

I didn’t know what had just happened. Charlie had danced with me like I was, well, a normal girl. It had seemed quite romantic, I think. So what did “see you in a min” mean?

People were putting their coats on. I could see Charlie with Jack and Vaisey hovering around. Jo and Phil were nowhere to be seen. Flossie had Ben by the shirt collar and was giving him little kisses on the mouth. He’s almost sure to explode. I felt I should do something, otherwise it looked like I was waiting for Charlie.

I turned to go to the loos but found myself face-to-face with Beverley and her sisters. They chewed on their gum. They’re not getting any smaller.

Eccles said, “Hello, tha big long lanky posh bumberskite.”

I felt very alone.

Beverley said, “I warned thee to keep your hands off our lads.”

As they were talking, the Tree Sisters had seen us and come over. Eccles said, “Ooooh, fear factor ten,” in a really sarcastic way.

Beverley sneered, “Look at thee, you great dunderwhelp. You think yer summat but you’re nowt. You jumped-up tart. We dun’t like thee and tha daft mates around here.”

Jo said, “Er, why don’t you call me daft again and see what happens next?”

Cain appeared between us, tutting, “You know what Ted said, we’re all little mates now, so play nicely, girls.”

Beverley said to him, “We were awreet, me and thee, afore she turned up.”

Cain said, “Beverley love, we were nivver awreet. You’ve been told there’s nowt doing wi’ me.”

The whole of the crowd seemed to be waiting for a fight. Beverley suddenly burst into tears and ran out of the hall. Followed by Eccles, Dil, and Chas. Eccles turned back to say to Cain as she went, “You’re bloody evil, you.”

He smiled and said, “Aye, it’s a gift. Not many can pull it off, tha knows.”

Eccles went off, shouting after her sisters, “Dun’t let her head off to the stream!! She’s got my bloody dress on.”

Cain turned his attention to me. “Well, well, those lasses seem not to like thee. Especially that Beverley for some reason.”

I held his gaze, but I wasn’t going to speak to him. Everyone else was standing around, wondering if anything was going to kick off.

Cain said slowly but loudly, “Did you have a nice time with your garyboy mates then, Miss Tallulah? Dancing abaht.”

I didn’t say anything.

Cain went on. “Nowt to say to me, miss? I thought we were close. We have been close, haven’t we? Reight close.”

Some of the big lads sniggered.

I said, “Why don’t you go off to your cave . . . and . . . leave me alone.”

Cain laughed, but not in a good way. He lowered his voice, but you could still hear every word. “But the last time, you din’t want me to go away, did you? That’s not what you wanted at all.”