Back The Realistic Joneses Save as PDF
Chapters (19)
  1. Cover
  2. Title Page
  3. Dedication
  4. Acknowledgments
  5. Production History
  6. Characters
  7. Scene 1
  8. Scene 2
  9. Scene 3
  10. Scene 4
  11. Scene 5
  12. Scene 6
  13. Scene 7
  14. Scene 8
  15. Scene 9
  16. Scene 10
  17. Scene 11
  18. Scene 12
  19. About the Author

JENNIFER: I think that’d be good. (Brief pause) It’s going to be okay.

BOB: No, I know.

JENNIFER: You don’t act like it. (Brief pause) It’s such a pretty night. It’s so quiet. You can almost hear the clouds go by.

BOB: Almost. (Brief pause) Remember the night I was, um—(He feels a small sharp pain) Auughh. (He makes a quick adjustment to the way he’s sitting) That’s better.

JENNIFER: Are you okay?

BOB: I was just sitting funny.

JENNIFER: I didn’t think it was funny.

(Bob smiles. He glances at his watch. Brief pause.)

What night? Remember which night?

BOB: Oh, right. (He tries to remember) Nope. Totally gone.

JENNIFER: Clouds, beautiful nights?

BOB: Yeah, I know. (Tries again) Yeah, sorry. All gone.

JENNIFER: You’ve been doing that.

BOB: There hasn’t been a lot of memorable stuff going on.

JENNIFER: Oh, is that it?

BOB (Takes a sip of water): This glass tastes terrible.

JENNIFER: It’s been sitting. (Pause) Do you want to talk?

BOB: What was just the whole thing about painting the house? And the other night about Belgium?

JENNIFER: That was two very short conversations. I don’t have some particular, I’m not . . . it just seems like we don’t talk.

BOB: What are we doing right now? Math?

JENNIFER: No, we’re— I don’t know— sort of throwing words at each other.

BOB: What? Come on, throwing . . . I thought we were just sitting here. But, fine, let’s talk.

JENNIFER: Good. (Brief pause) What’s the thing you’re most, or just, what’s your biggest fear?

BOB: My biggest? Like I have so many, they have to be ranked?

JENNIFER: I’m asking if there’s something you’re worried about.

BOB (Sharply): I was just sitting here, you know, and now we’re suddenly getting—

JENNIFER (Interrupting): We’re not suddenly anything. It’s fine, we can just sit. (Gently) It really is a beautiful night. It’s like that night when we— (She is interrupted by the crash of metal garbage cans, offstage) What was that?

BOB: Skunk. Maybe a raccoon.

JENNIFER: Should we look?

BOB: Yeah, but wait.

(They both listen. A shared but very subtle moment of excitement. She puts her hand on his.)

JENNIFER (Quietly): The unknown.

BOB (Agreeing quietly): I know.

(Some muffled offstage voices. John enters, finishing a conversation with Pony. He’s holding a wrapped bottle of wine.)

JOHN: . . . but, yeah, it was definitely much more powerful when I was a kid. (To Jennifer and Bob) Hey, hi. Sorry. We heard you talking back here.

PONY: Very softly.

JOHN: Yeah. Sorry about the, um— that was your garbage cans. They almost had me. We just wanted to say hi. We brought you a little— well, I think it’s obvious.

JENNIFER: Wow, thank you. Hi.