Later that day, I park a few streets away from St Margaret’s Middle School, praying this busy residential street isn’t where the Morrises live. That would be just my luck – to accidentally park outside their house and bump into Kate, especially after her pointed snub this morning. I know they live walking distance to Bella’s school, but they didn’t mention whereabouts, so I have no idea if I’m in the vicinity. Luckily, it’s raining again, so I have the hood of my parka up and my umbrella held low over my head. It’s almost school pick-up time, so the traffic is heavy and aggressive. Tempers fraying at the lack of nearby parking spaces and the prospect of being late and getting wet.

I walk purposefully towards the unfamiliar school, looking for all the world like just another parent. I called Matt from the café earlier this morning and asked him to pick up Jess and Charlie from school today, telling him that I just remembered I had a dental check-up. As luck would have it, he didn’t kick up a fuss, and said it shouldn’t be a problem. Even so, I feel bad lying to him. It’s not something I’d normally do. But he wouldn’t understand if I told him the real reason I’m not doing the school run.

It’s bad timing, because I really wanted to pick up Jess today. I’d planned to try to get her to open up about why she’s been so down the past couple of days. But it’ll just have to wait until I get home. Maybe I’ll text Matt to have a word.

Wareham Park finishes a little earlier than St Margaret’s, so my kids should be out by now. I slip my phone out of my pocket and text one-handed, almost dropping it a couple of times:

Hey, did u pick the kids up okay?

Yes, we’re home. No disasters yet.

Great. Can u check if Jess is okay? She’s been a bit down.

No problem. I’ll cheer her up. How’s the dentist?

On my way there now.

Okay. See you later xx

Guilt kicks in once more. But Matt absolutely wouldn’t understand what I’m doing. I’m sure he’d think I was being stalkerish. On the face of it, I probably am. But it’s not like that. It’s just that I’ve still only seen Bella the one time and I need to make sure I wasn’t imagining the resemblance. I’ve seen photos of her on Facebook, but that’s no substitute for seeing someone in real life. And, if I’m honest with myself, I’m craving another glimpse. How can it be that I’m the one whose daughter was taken, and yet I’m having to behave like a criminal just to see her?