Although things are back on an even keel for now, Matt won’t be content with my silence. He’ll try to work every last detail out of me. I don’t blame him for it; it’s just the way he is. Wanting to make everything better for everyone. But his intensity about the situation is driving me deeper into my shell. Making me even more reluctant to confide in him again. Part of the reason for that is because he doesn’t believe that Bella is my missing daughter. But he also doesn’t have any idea of what it’s like to lose a child. He can’t comprehend the anguish.

Suddenly I’m hit so hard by the pain I can hardly breathe. It’s as though it’s happening all over again. The realisation that my baby girl has gone. Fresh as if it was only moments ago. A tear drips. I watch as it falls as though in slow-motion onto the kitchen floor, making a tiny, barely perceptible splash. I turn abruptly and start clearing the kids’ bowls away.

‘Hey, you okay?’ Matt asks warily.

‘Yeah, fine, just tired, you know.’

He comes after me and runs his fingertips down my cheek. I wish he would give me some space so I can shake off this sadness before work, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings again, so I let myself be soothed, despite the fact that inside I’m twisted up with grief, and still burdened with the desperate need to know about Bella.

After dropping the kids off at school, I park in one of the backstreets behind the café and turn off the car engine. I still have twenty minutes until I’m due at work. Normally I go in early – Dee’s always grateful – but today I’m going to make the most of these spare minutes. I unclip my seatbelt and pull my phone from my handbag.

As the rain streams down outside, the windows quickly fog up, obscuring the road, and it feels as though I’m cocooned inside a misty storm cloud. I open Facebook and go straight to Kate’s page. This time I ignore the photos and click back to her earliest post four years ago, working my way forward in time.

They’re all the usual Facebook fare – funny things her kids have said and done, their achievements and milestones, family holidays, incidents that have annoyed her. There are a few memes about motherhood and some links to yoga sites. She’s also shared links to some of her friends’ businesses. Kate actually comes across pretty well on social media – not too much of a show-off or a moaner. I take my time, reading each post carefully, and taking special note of the comments.