I nod. ‘Don’t get me wrong, Matt is the best – kind, caring, a great boyfriend and father. But surely a small part of him must think I was negligent. Letting my toddler out of my sight in a busy shopping centre.’

‘You said she was playing in a Wendy house near you.’

‘Yes, but I wasn’t watching her the whole time.’

‘Do you think all other parents watch their children one hundred per cent of the time?’

I exhale noisily. ‘No, of course not. But I was more interested in talking to my friend than watching my daughter!’

Robin nods and pours himself a glass of water. ‘What do other parents do when they take their children to play centres and parks with friends?’

I scowl, knowing exactly what he’s attempting to do. ‘What do you mean?’

‘I mean, do they watch their children for every second that they’re there? Or do they maybe read a book, or chat with friends while their children play?’

‘I know you’re trying to tell me it wasn’t my fault, but unless one of your children has been abducted while you were busy enjoying yourself, I’m afraid you haven’t got a clue!’ I clench my fists then release them. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. It’s just, you’ll never be able to convince me that it wasn’t my fault.’

‘No need to apologise. I understand.’ Robin sips his water. ‘And you’re right. I haven’t had that experience, so I don’t know how you feel. But… you’re here talking to me. So maybe we can unpick those feelings a little and try to make some sense of them. That’s all. See if we can give you a little peace of mind.’

I nod, feeling tears prick behind my eyes.

‘And Rachel…’

‘What?’

‘The person who’s at fault here is not you. It’s the person who took your child. Don’t forget that.’

We talk some more about letting go of feelings of guilt and Robin gives me some breathing and meditation exercises to help when I’m feeling overwhelmed or panicky. By the time our hour is up, I feel absolutely exhausted, like I’ve run a marathon or spent a weekend camping in a storm. But there’s a part of me that also feels a little lighter. Like someone is sharing the burden and taking some of the heaviness from my shoulders. I can’t say it was an enjoyable experience, but I think – I hope – it was worth it.