Matt clears his throat. ‘How did you… I mean, how are you even keeping it together, Rach? If it was Charlie or Jess who was abducted, I think I’d lose it. I don’t know how I’d ever be normal again.’

‘You don’t know how you’ll be, until it happens to you. But anyway, I was in no way keeping it together back when you first met me. You know what I was like. I was a mess. Quite honestly, I was pretty astounded that you showed any interest in me. I wasn’t exactly my best self.’

‘I just thought you seemed a little bit lost. But I never imagined…’ Matt exhales. ‘I never guessed how much you must have been suffering.’

I nod and chew my lip, trying not to put myself into that time. Trying to keep from remembering how I felt back then.

Matt leans forward. ‘Did you ever talk to anyone about what happened?’

‘Not really.’

‘Not even a friend?’

‘I suppose I did, but I can’t remember many specifics from that time. It was all just a horrible, blurry mess.’

‘Surely the police must have recommended counselling or something.’

‘I went to a couple of sessions. But I was so out of it that I don’t think anything went in. I just nodded and said some stuff I thought she wanted to hear.’

‘I think you should see someone now.’

‘See someone? What, like a counsellor, you mean?’

‘Yeah. Exactly.’

Of all the things I would have expected my boyfriend to come up with, this is the least likely suggestion. He’s a straight-down-the-line guy. Therapy isn’t something I would have imagined to be anywhere near his radar. I hope it isn’t because he thinks I might be mentally unstable. What if he thinks I might be unfit to look after our children?

‘I didn’t know you were into all that therapy stuff.’

‘I’m not into it.’ He’s a little embarrassed now. ‘I just think it would help to talk to someone who’s used to advising about those types of things.’

In my head, I respond with, What? A child-abduction advisor? But that would be a shitty thing to say. And anyway, I couldn’t bring myself to say the words ‘child abduction’ out loud.

‘What do you think?’ he persists.

‘I don’t know.’ In truth, I can’t think of anything worse. Raking over all those old feelings, picking at scabs, making me relive it all. I don’t want to do that.

‘I could have a look online for you. Find a good one. Someone with five-star reviews who’s helped other people. Will you at least give it a go?’