I rush back to my car, head bowed against the gusting wind, wondering if I should have tried to talk to Shaun some more. Begged him to promise that he wouldn’t say anything to Kate. But he was in no state to listen and even if he promised me a thousand times, how could I trust he’d even keep his word? Kate’s his wife, after all. I’m shaking and panting now, my legs so wobbly that I’m not sure I’ll even make it back to the car. What was I thinking, breaking into their property? Am I losing the plot?

I need to work out what I’m going to say if the police come knocking. I also need to have a story lined up for Kate if she calls me up. I suppose I could simply deny it. If I race home now and get into bed before Matt and the kids get back, I can still use my migraine excuse as a kind-of alibi. My family already think I’m unwell, but lying doesn’t come easily and I’m sure everyone will see right through me. None of this feels right.

The only thing that could possibly make all of this okay is if I could prove without a shadow of a doubt that Bella is my daughter. Surely if that happens, then breaking into their flat will be seen as a necessary crime. At least I now have the DNA sample I need. I put my gloved hand to my coat pocket, where Bella’s hair lies secure in its plastic bag. Right now, this bag’s contents could well be my most valuable possession. As long as some of Bella’s hairs contain root follicles, then they should be okay for testing. I’m almost scared to send them off to the lab. What will I do after all this if Bella isn’t my daughter? What will I do if she is?

My heart lifts slightly as I reach my car and slide inside. I’m desperate to get away from this area. To be safely back home with the door closed and locked behind me. I also need to get rid of my shoes, and possibly even my coat. They’ll have glass fragments in them. Plus, I’m sure I read something somewhere about the police being able to match shoe treads to marks made at the scene of the crime. I should wash my hair too. I rest my forehead on the steering wheel for a moment. This is all too much. I don’t think I thought this through properly. No, it’ll be fine. I’ll just bin all my clothes from tonight, vacuum out my car, have a shower and get into bed. I still have around two hours until the fayre ends.