We kiss, and I’m struggling with all my conflicting emotions – anger, love, irritation, frustration – but most of all, I’m simply aching to hold onto him longer than our usual quick hug. I want him to embrace me and make everything all right. I have this overwhelming urge to tell him every single detail about the past few days. To throw myself on his mercy and ask him to help me sort it all out. Instead, I keep it all inside, smile and start grating some cheese into a bowl.

The children hop back up onto their stools and show Matt their cards. He makes suitably appreciative sounds before turning to me with a smile. ‘Hey, guess what?’

‘What?’

‘Mum said she’d babysit tonight so we can go out for a drink.’

‘Tonight?’ Normally, I’d jump at the chance for a night out with my lovely man, but I have things I really need to do.

‘Yeah, thought I’d be a bit spontaneous for a change. It’s almost Christmas and it would be fun to have some time for just the two of us.’

‘Why can’t we come?’ Jess asks.

‘Because it’s a school night,’ Matt replies, bopping her on the nose with his forefinger.

‘So?’

‘So you’d be tired tomorrow. And children aren’t allowed in bars.’

‘Are you going to get drunk?’ Charlie asks.

‘Charlie!’ I turn to look at Matt, who grins at me. ‘How do you know about getting drunk?’

‘Bethany Marshall said her mum got drunk at the weekend and fell asleep on the sofa.’

‘Well, Mummy and Daddy won’t be doing that,’ I assure our son, giving him my sternest face.

‘So?’ Matt asks me. ‘What do you think? Thought we could get a taxi to the Hungry Horse. Then if it stops raining we can walk home afterwards.’

‘It sounds good, but would you mind if we didn’t go tonight? It’s just, I’m pretty tired and I’m starting to get a throbbing head.’ I tip the pasta shells into a pan of boiling water, which bubbles up too quickly and starts frothing over the hob.

‘Really?’ Matt’s eyebrow quirks up. ‘A headache? But we hardly ever go out.’ He reaches up to get some pasta bowls out of the cupboard.

I didn’t realise he’d be so disappointed. He clearly doesn’t believe my headache excuse. To be fair, I thought it sounded lame when I said it. I consider changing my mind and agreeing to go. Our relationship has been suffering lately, which is totally my fault. But I need some down time to make my next move with the Morrises. I can’t give that as an excuse, because Matt wouldn’t understand. ‘Sorry, Matt. Can we save it till the weekend, or one day next week?’

His shoulders droop. ‘I suppose we’ll have to. I was really in the mood to go out though.’